Who called them evangelists and not MeFundies?

Well...I can see I need to get more into incantations.

Some of you need to go outside and eat ass.

I HOPE THAT SOMEONE GETS MY I HOPE THAT SOMEONE GETS MY I HOPE THAT SOMEONE GETS MY SAUSAGE IN A BOTTLE, YEAH

Me: *posts about microwave* Internet stranger: "wow I cant believe you hate single mothers, disabled people, neurodivergant people, the elderly, the- "

me: how many haunted dolls does it take to change a lightbulb friend: are you okay

Give a man two wolves and he'll reskeet format jokes, teach a man about two wolves and he'll probably skeet something about buttholes and cilantro

i just ate a bowl of Total with a banana in it, if anybody needs me i'll be downtown throwing Corvettes at Doctor Octopus

a tray of lasagna can be an apéritif nothing matters anymore

I bet the inventor of the microwave was like "no. Sadder."

IM JUST TRYING TO PLAY SPIDER SOLITAIRE LEAVE ME ALONE

I subskeeted you, please respond

I might

fungible thadius🍥@fungiblethadius.bsky.social · yesterday

I would

Reason #20374628 why I still exist on Mastodon

Karrid 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️@karrid.myatproto.social · yesterday

Well, it appears that, sometime in the last 17 hours, Gwen Pepperoni was suspended for the crime of pointing out Ken Jennings' transphobia.

this baky algorithm makes no goddamn sense. if i post about garfield doing 9/11 i get seven thousand likes and hahas, but if i post about heathcliff being responsible for the 35w bridge collapse it's fuckin crickets in here

jiu jitsu butt lift 🤝 brazilians creating huge asses

Dan of the Year@downwithdan.bsky.social · 2d ago

He will never understand that being "the fat guy from Superbad" is infinitely better than being "the martial arts chud nobody likes"

Mods are asleep post rare Shaloubs

*air guitar*

riding it in a way that brings honor to my family

Don't tell me who to date

get in loser take my hand we’ll make it I swear

Me: If you’ve seen one butthole, you’ve seen them all. Bluesky: Hold my beer.

Uncrustables™ is more than just a product. it's a philosophy. Be uncrustable. Live uncrustably.

is the bigger version a strawberry tallcake or a strawberry longcake

a lobotomy is when they remove one or both of the wolves — lobos — inside of you

It really takes a lot of courage for hamburger to ask for help.

Rep. Max Miller: ‘I Refuse To Resign Over What My Wife Made Me Do’

jiggle physics but for a video game character with his nuts hanging out his jorts