How old were you when you were first told that you are not as funny as you think you are and you made it your life's goal to prove them wrong?

I can't believe he gets away with saying this stuff!

i wish baseball teams could resolve their differences without resorting to baseball

When I was younger I wanted to get a speeding ticket on my bicycle. I saw my chance - a cop at the bottom of a hill in a 25 mph zone. I zipped past him doing almost 40. I stopped and waited for him. He just shook his head- not dealing with your bs today, kid.

Chicago had a Ferris wheel, but in Buffalo you could take a potshot at McKinley

Fuck ChatGPT flyers. The future is broadsheets.

Sept. 22, 1926: Ratu Meli Salabogi, an influential chief of Fiji, ends a U.S. tour and leaves San Francisco “with enough saxophones to outfit an entire platoon of royal troops as a jazz band. He intends to introduce modern jazz to the islands.”

Buying myself a gallon of gas as a little treat.

I hear a faint buzzing in my sock drawer. I instantly recognize the number on the forgotten Motorola pager. After 25 years, George Stephanopoulos has summoned me again. Gennifer Flowers and Bill Clinton are back together, and George needs my help distracting Hillary. I put on Brute cologne.

Quoth the Sheeran: Macklemore

I am Seth. Destroyer of Endless Shrimp

Hey wait a minute: maybe the quicksand we grew up worrying about turned out to be our phones

[seeing the grocery store cashier that always laughs at my jokes laughing at someone else’s jokes] what the fuck is this shit

Starting a sentence and hoping that it ends well

Everyone talks about the 1893 World's Columbian Exposition in Chicago, but we all know the 1901 Pan-American Exposition in Buffalo was better

The heartbreaking naive optimism of refreshing a beloved podcast that's been offline for 6 years

Good luck to all the brave boys and girls across the nation taking the SATs this morning

I type up so much shit and then delete bc it's dumb. Then I remember everything is dumb

Not long until @mariabamford.bsky.social comes to Iowa City! Almost sold out.

less backrooms & more snackrooms!

Life hack: if you're listening to a podcast from Canada, play it at 1.25 speed

How I yearn for a full set of Funk and Wagnalls!

Kristin Myrtle@kristinmyrtle.bsky.social · 4mo ago

get in loser! we're not googling things anymore, we're going to grandma's house to look things up in her set of encyclopedias

Big deal. Who hasn't hidden in a catering cart to sneak out of Turkey?

Searching Bluesky 29 times a minute for #jimothy sighting updates

Brett Shaw@brettshaw.bsky.social · 3mo ago

He is PERFECT ... #Jimothy

The nice thing about owning a house with wood siding you don't have to worry what your hobbies should be. Your hobbies are now painting and light carpentry. Today is another day removing wood rot. Enjoy your hobby!

Hanging out at the marina. Learned that sailors don't say "Ahoy!" or "Avast!" They actually say stuff like "Who are you?" and "Get off the dock or we're calling the police."

This doesn't scare me. I've eaten gas station sushi in Ely, Minnesota.

Discontinued FoOoOods! 👻🎃@discontinuedfoods.bsky.social · last yr.

McDonald's Shrimp Salad (1985-1986): A garden salad topped hardboiled eggs and mini shrimp cocktail. This offering made national headlines when improperly stored shrimp led to a typhoid outbreak in Maryland. This salad has popped back up in some European markets in recent years

“This is the route of my forefathers,” Ioway Chief Na’je Nine impressed upon U.S. officials in 1837. “We have the history. We have always owned this land. It is what bears our name.”

An Ioway map drawn in 1837 offers a treasure trove of historical insight - Little Village

The Báxoje (Ioway) leaders Na’je Nine (No Heart of Fear) and Ñiyu Mañi (Moving Rain) arrived in Washington D.C. at the end of September 1837 with two sheets of paper, stitched together by hand — caref...

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