They say don't milk a spilt cry. Now I've excedida your mileage garantía. The time cop knows. Scemo scemo scemo I let you scappare. Oh, I've tripped my tempo for tanti pappagalli. Tanto tanto bello, once you were in my castello. Now my tseyt is kaput. No more kvetch to schlep. My voranty is nit.

Overcrowded with sheep? Insomnia I deduce. Take deze and doze. Amused but confused? Head pop a stinky rotten food pearl. Bitumen in the women's restroom? They're just paving the way. 100 lbs of pigeon clay to make ONE sadness sandwich? Hey, I just work here.

Transom lamb! School squirrel! Out the window. I'm out exfoliating half notes. Kids in the root beer colored party bus FLY BY Calling me names FLY BY exclusion! It was the summer of honk-beep scritches for an in cheerleader not an outlier. Hold my fear. I'm boring a hole in their danger.

A moon waxing gibbous is just a polished hum. 𝘪.𝘦. 𝘞𝘢𝘪𝘵𝘦𝘳, 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦'𝘴 𝘢 𝘤𝘳𝘺 𝘰𝘯 𝘮𝘺 𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘰𝘱. 𝘚𝘵𝘰𝘰𝘱 𝘪𝘴 𝘰𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘴𝘦! A baby peanut cradle is just a legume time pod. 𝘪.𝘦. 𝘞𝘩𝘺 𝘥𝘰𝘦𝘴 𝘴𝘺𝘮𝘮𝘦𝘵𝘳𝘺 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘴𝘶𝘴𝘱𝘦𝘯𝘴𝘦 𝘢𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘥 𝘪𝘵? 𝘗𝘦𝘰𝘱𝘭𝘦 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘵𝘳𝘺𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘰 𝘦𝘲𝘶𝘢𝘭 𝘪𝘯! Conclusion: Backfield in motion. You're offside and holding.

I'll send a telegram since maybe her phone is on mute but maybe I don't know if we can even send... STOP She's a dreamscape with Stella building marshmallow sand castles with a coffee can... sToP I give up I'm sad I'm boring so I can't can for her dumping me... stop Can we still send telegrams?

Three tier wedding cake- 9 yards white fondant, 1 gallon lavender piping, Up to the second tier opens in toward the ice fire dragon. You rocket down its snot ice super slide in the out. Out the in to the side where your I do was an I don't.

It's just a workaday amnesia span, The kind you can't just milkshake off. The mundacity of it all, A brain cloud that won't float. Is this a sunday fora sundae? This has the curricula ofa sisyphus because I don't evenknow. Four streets over is a blueberry jam session, And my ice cream is whipped.

The majority is simple: Nuclear option ear flipper. A psychotic reaction from the your and mine. Holy rolling muppet prefaced my door. A drink in one hand, cigarette in another. Come back in 5-7 days with your mother. My name is forty scones. Don't let the door hit you where the lord split you.

Farmhouse made of depression glass and manic lumber parked on rolling meadows stopping endless Cow are you mooing? Fine, I guess. Sit at the breakfast stable Get your dose of oats. Plow needs fielding, Chickens need roostered. Worked hard all day? Play harder. Gin needs rummied Fiddle a do-si-do

There's a small duplex made of worth and good, where lived a plum tree teapoy named Dr. B. Wood. By the saltwater, it's hotter than an otter's daughter. A young Wood sold sails there, wholesale for retail. With no sails sales to deliver, a woebegone Wood died there from senility of the liver.

Purple Hornet Consortium is at the top of this page. Red comes after the before but here. It's happenstance, a meeting of primaries. Chasing riverside, I found my blue after a dreidel spin. A flowing, unsweetened mischief. At the end now, it's parent apparent to a rainbow kitten surprise.

When my mother was my brother's child, we were frenulum surfing tornado alley. Tripper Clancy was huffing go karts at the track when the thunder clapped. Smoky Eckrich was slinging Calico trinkets! A storm came but the street lights were off. We couldn't go home. Boy did our tiny ships get tossed!

Man Spread™. It's made of man but nice on toast.

Draw a line in the sand. Draw another one. And another one. Okay one more. Now I you've got tic tac toe and oh my god the lines are filled with blood. I don't understand why you are so mad at this beach.

Didn't think so many people would be dying on the posthumous defending of fascists, transphobes and misogynists hill that even my 91 year old grandmother with emphysema could get over.

I’m forgetting what you did last summer ooh hang on don’t tell me

Pro tip: when making a beanbag chair, the choice of beans is crucial. Do not use green beans.

Every Labour Day the neighbourhood sparrows take a bath…

We don’t sell hot dogs. We only rent them.

Nurse: What about your depression? Me: Jiffy Lube said I could still drive on it

Every day I wake up with my boobs naturally sitting higher than my elbow is a win.

More like...like ewww.

Julie Lavender Menace@2tickytacky.bsky.social · 11mo ago

Now, a message from Julie Lavender Menace: Instead of running back to his beloved church, Rev. Dr. Ravenscrof is vacationing in Hawaii. Don't fret, my pets. The Menaces are here for you. We'll have s'mores and two hours of rigorous Bible study. God bless.

The exit is your fixation

Does anyone want a cursed amulet? I stole four.

As a Bluesky ambassador, I decided to swing through Hawaii on my way back east from Omaha.

[crime scene] Detective: Not only has the victim been decapitated the head is nowhere to be found. Praying Mantis: *burps* I found him like that. I swear. Detective *narrows eyes suspiciously * Put this down as a possible sex crime.

Elon Musk has his engineers build an exoskeleton for a frail Trump so he won't be seen using a wheelchair. The hydraulics are 10x more powerful than they need to be and Musk does the coding himself to ensure it's perfect. It crushes Trump into a meat & bone pretzel 10 seconds after he's strapped in.

The pain of high fashion