Today somebody meowd to me and I felt that

That was long story long and now I have to remember everything or you'll be offended? Lol

He said he was going to buy parts for his beloved car, to make it more believable (he didn't smoke)

onf: something (or someone) that's so proportionately both on and off that it can't be either or neither

post your worst draft

richie@theregoesrichie.bsky.social · 4d ago

post your worst draft

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Goondalf

richie@theregoesrichie.bsky.social · 4d ago

post your worst draft

me: how many haunted dolls does it take to change a lightbulb friend: are you okay

I'm at that age that my favorite cover songs are super slow atmospheric versions like you just huffed a rag full of ether and that song happenes to be on the radio, it should take you awhile to figure out what song it is

i wish they would let me put a dumpster under my balcony so i could hurl stuff out of my apartment

In my pocket, I keep a bunch of different wildcard playing cards I have purloined from various games, so if I am ever in a situation I find uncomfortable for any reason, I pull one out & slap it down on the table & yell wildcard!!! And then I run away.

the eagles: you can check out any time you like but you can never leave me: that’s not how hotels work

I really hate dealing with the shirt tuckers at work go maximize synergy over there bro leave me alone

GIVE THE MAN A FISH AND MAKE HIM GO AWAY ALREADY I HAVE OTHER SHIT TO BE DOING RIGHT NOW.

there I was eating the spring roll, and that's when I realized- oh no, the mint, is it like lettuce? is this going to kill me? did I make it through everything to die of this delicious bite? so anyway I dipped it in the peanut sauce and took another bite

being a trad wife is easy, just gotta churn butter and give your husband all the money u make from tik tok

what happens if you’re riding a horse and u die and fall off, does the horse just keep going until it crashes into a tree, reminder that there are no dumb questions

Standing up swaying on the bus with music in my ears and *whispers* Nobody Knows I'm Dancing

If you could read my mind I really wouldn’t.

had a Bluesky dream, so this has been fun guys but

Good looks are transitory Good syntax is forever

I believe every cockroach i encounter immediately fixates on me and will leap across any distance directly onto my face and down my shirt

today's my last day working at a summer school program and all the kids were so sweet except for one boy who asked "why do u look so cool but act so lame" and now this question will haunt me to the end of my days fuck u braden

I may not have hit any of the normal markers of adulthood (marriage, property, pets, children) but I have kept a comprehensive list of things I have fallen off of to date (starting with a cliff, ending with a curb), and I think that might be worth some sort of congratulations at least.

ME: And another thing, It should be called a buycycle when it's in the shop and a bicycle when you get it home. MY KIDNAPPER: *crying* Omg we let you go two hours ago

Void McVoid, I love u more than I love myself obviously

number of times i've said this to men: “I love u” - 2 “get your finger out of there” - 19

asked mom if she can help me with a meal plan at ucb and she gave me a $2 coupon for a pack of mission tortillas