Give the same amount of fucks as bob dylan meeting the pope

Replace all stop signs with go signs

Puff the Magic Hater@mskellymhayes.bsky.social · yesterday

What's your most ridiculous, newly emboldened political demand? (Absurd answers only.)

OutKast going up on Stone Mountain bitches

Puff the Magic Hater@mskellymhayes.bsky.social · yesterday

What's your most ridiculous, newly emboldened political demand? (Absurd answers only.)

What’s up “SALT LIFE?!” How you doin?! I know you looking miserable dawg!

shortest no-nut november in history

My buddy who works at GMC says the next trend in pickup truck tailgate technology is spiral stairs

Fell asleep at 8. Woke up at 330 and been checking the results. Harder than a railroad spike.

oklahoma embarrassment as usual

it's all going according to dark brandon's plan

even in a flawed democracy like the US it feels fucking great to have a national quorum to tell one specific guy that hes stupid and you fucking hate his guts

This reminded me of the time I did some research

A Goddam Virginian@goddamvirginian.bsky.social · 2d ago

Scooby Doo's cousin Mountain Doo lives with Shaggy's scrub gamer nephew Laggy Rogers

good news, everyone you don't have to actually stress about the election at all because everything is going to keep being shit unless we can destroy capitalism

Oh, I thought you said ERECTION day! My bad.

My favorite Lita Ford song is the one where she goes to a party looking for some dick, doesn’t get any, and punches some bitch out. Then she’s all “shit baby that’s life 🤷‍♀️”

I deleted a post in which I expressed hatred about something. I ain’t about that life.

do you think shrek would be a little wet to the touch? i do

People often tell me that I usually have these dead eyes, like I hate everything in the world and want to smash it all to pieces, but when I'm jorkin' my pud, my eyes turn gentle and serene, as if I'm moved by the wonders of this world.

genuinely giving this no nut november thing a shot but no matter how many times and how hard i try i just can't seem to get rid of it all

gonna start holding my belly like pregnant women do

Fraidy hears rain. This is why her name is Fraidy

Nath & Fielder

heard your mans was all fucked up by the time change

one thing your meemaw and i have in common is our love of white cheddar rice cakes

Jack Kevorkian could have been a hero if this was one of his solutions

AJ McKenna@robertgalbraith.bsky.social · 7d ago

In one week, possession of this image will be illegal under UK law

Voting is for hicks you need to get out in the real world and eat 2 cheeseburgers

Going to sleep at 9:30 is the new going to sleep at 10:30

sick neck tat bro

(Me closing up shop last night by just leaving the bowl of remaining candy in the driveway) I don’t care if some punk takes it all. I don’t want it in the house (Me an hour later turning out the lights and checking the bowl to find it empty) those fucking sons of bitches!!