Google says my dream last night means I’m going through a stressful time right now. Finally, abit of understanding. lol.

Trying to hold in my sarcasm is a lot like trying to hold an explosive shit in, rarely happens.

Tmi but here I go… Had a Chinese hotpot last night & now I know enoki mushrooms don’t breakdown in your body, therefore it’s like having to pull hairy shit not from your dogs arse but from your own, weirdest shitting experience so far.

I genuinely love this

Bassano@bassano.bsky.social · 2mo ago

Vermeer’s Girl With The Pearl Earring will be shown in Osaka, later this year, and the press conference was as Japanese as you’d expect #Vermeer

ol' man derpyfly

lil jumper 🖤

what if I hugged you from behind and it felt warm and squishy but then later you found mashed potatoes all over your back.

Wife: Hey babe this credit card bill is…OH MY GOD Me (from garage): It was a client dinner, couldn’t find my company card W: At Bobby’s Mechanical Bulls?!? M (furiously disrobing my chaps and boots and looking for a tarp or large blanket): What? That’s crazy hold on a sec

I don’t fret over typos I just delete my acct and start over

You can imagine my wife’s relief when my doctor explained that my test results revealed the growth on my shoulder is just my head and quite benign

carefully crafted joke 3 likes, picture of a Scotch egg 150+ *bloody weirdo's

I’ve stop trying figure it out. Seems the worst skeets or what you think won’t work always go viral.

All the best skeets have typos.

this is who runs this account

Sesame Street Oscar The Grouch

ALT: Sesame Street Oscar The Grouch

static.klipy.com

Blerrmonfae@blerrytime1.bsky.social · 6d ago

this is who runs this account

My wife and I noticed you from across the room. Put your fucking cock away

#ASongOrMovieForElevators Push the Button

The difference between sex for money and sex for free is that sex for free usually costs more in the long run.

FIFA FOFUM I smell the blood..

I had a homework joke but the dog ate it.

Blerrmonfae@blerrytime1.bsky.social · 5d ago

I had an alien joke but couldn't quite probe it.

*shouting from the backdoor Goin out Ma!

My family is fucking crazy.

Must be nice having been born shitting gold nuggets.

you’re hot but in celsius

please normalize caramel sundae hot tubs with continuous cool ice cream flow

a shot of Grey Goose or Tanqueray makes it extra nice

BrujoLoco☠️🖤🏺@patnspankme.bsky.social · 7d ago

do this: put 5 cups of water in a pitcher, squeeze lemons / limes til you have a cup of juice & dump that into the pitcher also, thru a strainer, then put a cup of water & a cup of sugar in a pot and warm & stir til mixed & clear then chill it, when cold add to pitcher & stir serve over ice

Random thought..double oo's are the eyes in words.

Can't, my dog just laid on my lap.