Protect your peace from those who do not have their own

single use bidet

I am tired of current events

2k. 2k!? That’s more than my whole pc. 2000 (two thousand!) dollars!

not social not antisocial but a secret third thing (so tired)

You should mention your inability to form complete sentences in your dating profile.

Girl, are you a dinosaur because Jurassissic.

they put too much yearning in us when they mixed our doughy being

Just like Mr. Rogers, I strip as soon as I get home

I hate you in a non violent way. <flirting>

what if all i ever had to do was eat noodles

Ladies. Never let a man, of all things, tell you your pussy isn’t PERFECT.

Whoever first decided to put soup inside a dumpling needs their DICK sucked

pro tip: don’t

but, your honor, i was being possessed by the spirit of a victorian pickpocket

If you’re in your 30s and you still get “the ick” I’m here to tell you to grow the fuck up.

Started BG3 yesterdayyyy. Never have I ever had to pick vulva on a character creation screen. Never have I ever laughed so hard while creating a character.

Where do we sign up for the dogpile anyway?

I'm still pissed that it didn't all end on Y2K

hi. anxiety can fuck off bec I'm making the right decision but now I want to throw up.

Am I above a ground score bag of gummies on my way into a concert?? No. No I’m not.

Watching men attempt Pilates is one of my favorite pastimes.

your honor, that's my emotional support 475 tabs

No gods nor kings Only skeets

I’m fed ads about GLP-1s constantly and honestly it’s only making me want to be incredibly fit without using a GLP-1. No shade to those who use it. But it’s flipped a switch in my brain.

don’t take me to church, i’ll burn

Go ahead and kill me Can’t get much stronger

downward facing dogpile

sad to realize we aren't talking about a pile of puppies :(

I’m more of a catpile person