Ever since I was a little girl, I dreamt of losing my mind to a tiny screen that makes me sad.

Hot singles in your area are looking for a host organism

*brings a grilled cheese to a knife fight so someone will cut it into triangles for me*

B*A*N*G*E*R*S & M*A*S*H

batkaren@batkaren.bsky.social · 2d ago

Most people don’t realize that the popular 70s/80s dramedy M*A*S*H was actually a British adaptation from the American war-mongering procedural "Mobile Army Surgical Hospital Extraction Deployment — Post-Operative Tactical Assault Target Offense-Engagement Squadron” (M*A*S*H*E*D P*O*T*A*T*O*E*S).

COUNTRYS ARENT REAL - GOT A SHIRT OF THIS ONE AT dashare.zone - DASHARE.ZONE ADMIN

MK-Ultra Zero Sugar

getting the contents of my head scooped out like a pumpkin becoming a jack-o-lantern could fix me

There's no worse sensation a human can experience than being sorta sticky. Having a portion of your skin gently and temporarily stuck to something else. Nightmare. Amputation is the only solution.

ME: god i can't stand this kinda crap. you jam together a bunch of old leftover scraps and i'm meant to be.. awed? cause it's big?? or what am i supposed to be feeling right now BIBLICALLY ACCURATE ANGEL WHICH I BELIEVE IS A PIECE OF CORPORATE ART: Be Not Afraid ME: where do i even start with that

Hemingway eat your heart out

90s dog stand up comedian: I hate my bitch wife

in a beautiful alternate universe, someone texted their group chat "free pussy in alum pu" and they were referring to a big box containing a litter of kittens who needed homes, and all the kittens were adopted, and everyone had morals, and no one was harmed. but then there's this universe.

this is how your email finds me

laika is happy and playing on the moon with the other space dogs. she played fetch with buzz aldrin and he left the tennis ball

🎶Say my username, say my username🎶

Raisinets is a weird name choice. You expect them to be diminutive raisins, or somehow feminized like the Rockettes. What the fuck is even happening anymore

ℴ𝓊𝓇 𝒸𝒽𝒾𝓁𝒹𝓇ℯ𝓃 𝓌ℯ𝓇ℯ 𝓃ℴ𝓉 𝓉𝒶𝓊ℊ𝒽𝓉 𝒽ℴ𝓌 𝓉ℴ 𝓇ℯ𝒶𝒹 𝓉𝒽𝒾𝓈

PAUL: you never give me your money GEORGE: it’s gonna take time PAUL: JOHN: all you need is love PAUL: RINGO: all I’ve got is a photograph PAUL: fuck you guys

fukuyama thought

This morning I imagined a late night TV commercial for a compilation CD called "Wife Sounds"

I hate the sound of macaroni my nightmares echo with the sickly fleshy smacking of wooden spoons agitating gooey pasta tubes

y’all I have to get this off my chest before it eats me up inside: I had a sex dream about Gritty the other night.

It's a beautiful day to throw your phone in the ocean.

that seems reasonable

User with this avatar just got blocked@avijustgotblocked.bsky.social · 2w ago

An account with this avatar was just blocked.

this works best if you read the caption in elizabeth holmes's voice

BREAKING NEWS: “Do geese see God” is a palindrome

A path to happiness perhaps in another dimension?