The only things you can’t change or control are most of what happens in your body and mind, all of the rest of the world, the entirety of the past, and the vast, infinite abyss of possible futures. Other than that, you get exactly what you deserve.
I’m Cycling through another Reddit phase for some reason
Sagittarius: You may find it difficult to juggle your relationships. Try destroying a few until you reach the right balance.
[matt berry voice] No. no no no, no no no no no don’t do that i thought we were having a nice date why does it matter i thought we were having a nice date
I feel sad sometimes, late at night. Like I missed my chance. Don’t know for what.
Elton John if he was from Arrakis voice: 🎵Bene(bene), Bene(bene), Bene(bene), Bene Gesserrrrrrittttt🎵
Yeah it would be great to die old and comfortable, peacefully in my sleep and what not but the thing I really want the most is for my death to be funny
may your evening be cool and restful, your week unantagonizing, and your dreams teeming with licentious mischief say it back
*nodding solemnly* concrete jungle wet dream tomato
Tracy Morgan: "New York City that's where King King died... and we told Godzilla you next motherf*cker. You, the three headed monster, the flying turtle, all y'all can all get it."
wholesome news story alert www.theguardian.com/australia-ne...
Is there a pianist in the house? Audience member steps up to perform in La La Land in Sydney
Sterling Nasa had tickets to see Justin Hurwitz’s La La Land in Concert. When the keyboardist suddenly fell ill, he found himself on stage performing
theguardian.com
madam president.. your rose toy is fully charged for your meeting in vietnam
The gas pump screaming ads at me is really helping to ground this entire situation
Sincerely believe that a major contributor to the male loneliness epidemic may be that the most common type of cishet man is ‘Can’t Handle A Baddie’ Guy & the most common type of woman period is Baddie.
The Guardian@theguardian.com · 5mo agoSingle women are buying more houses. The men they are dating are not responding well
Every day I wake up and I hate I hate I hate I hate I hate I hate I hate I hate I hate I hate I hate I hate I hate I hate I hate I hate I hate I hate I hate I hate I hate I hate I hate I hate I hate I hate I hate I hate I hate I hate I hate I hate I hate I hate I hate I hate I hate I hate I hate I h
Sorry I rolled your boyfriend up into a little ball and I'm squeezing him because I'm stressed. He makes a stupid gay little noise every time i squeeze him. I also like throwing him against the wall and hearing him say ow. No I won't be turning him back to normal. Sorry.
screaming in terror and running away after seeing a car bump another car slightly from across the street
they’re all scrambling to put their clothes back on
Dr. SkySkull@drskyskull.bsky.social · 6mo ago7 MINUTES BEFORE COMMUNICATION REESTABLISHED
