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jimprov

@jimprov.sendusyourmoney.com

Chimpanzee dealer He/him | R0BERTC0P av by @carl.bsky.social hats /shirts /stickers - https://shop.sendusyourmoney.com

11273 Posts1360 Follower 526 Folgt

jimprov @jimprov.sendusyourmoney.com · 2h ago

so she has to pay back all that aipac money now right

jimprov @jimprov.sendusyourmoney.com · 6mo ago

Timestamp Heckler@pat.repeater.show · 6mo ago

bumper sticker: I'd let Janice the Muppet steal my identity and my 1995 mitsubishi eclipse

jimprov @jimprov.sendusyourmoney.com · 2h ago

for your consideration:

The Independent@the-independent.com · 7h ago

James Bond producer shares update on 007 casting: ‘It’s got to be really different’

Frosh @froshkiller.dev · 18h ago

Saudi EAbia

Electronic Arts Officially Sold For $55 Billion

With the closing of the market today comes the second-biggest acquisition in gaming history

kotaku.com

jimprov @jimprov.sendusyourmoney.com · 11mo ago

getting on it right away!!!

Leah Feiger@leahfeiger.bsky.social · 11mo ago

NEW: A dark money group Is secretly funding high-profile Democratic influencers, offering influencers up to $8,000 a month to push the party line. All they have to do is keep it secret—and agree to restrictions on their content. a truly wild story from @taylorlorenz.bsky.social for @wired.com:

jimprov @jimprov.sendusyourmoney.com · 3h ago

John Hultberg (1959)

"Control Tower" oil on canvas

----- [artist biography] -----

( born Berkeley, CA 1922 - died New York City 2005 )

John Hultberg studied at the Art Students League with artists Mark Rothko and Clyfford Still. In 1952 his work was included in an exhibition of emerging artists, and two years later he won first prize at the Corcoran Gallery of Art Biennial.

In 1955, Time magazine declared him the "latest darling of modern art." (Jacks, John Hultberg: Painter of the In-Between, 1985) Hultberg exhibited his work all over the world, published many poems, and taught in art schools across the country.

His paintings often show surreal landscapes of indistinct objects that evoke stormy wastelands or long-forgotten ruins.

jimprov @jimprov.sendusyourmoney.com · 3h ago

taking my dog's psych meds until we can afford insurance again

G. Whilikerz @timeskull.bsky.social · 9mo ago

832 - Cereal Innovator

p1 - A Generic Bald Man in a Tshirt has his breakfast of minecraft cubes cereal (as seen in 509) all prepared. He opens a kitchen drawer to get a spoon but all that's in there is a Weird plastic Blob
GBM: what the-
Weird Blob: Good morning!! We've upgraded your tableware to the all new Forq 2.0 system!!
p2 - GBM has picked up the Forq to address it
Forq: Now you can share your meal to the cloud, get suggested recipes, connect with providers, and so much more!
GBM: Yeah, sure. How do I eat with it?
F: It sounds like you're trying to use your new Forq 2.0 ot eat a meal! That's great! First you'll need to install the app & create an account.
p3 - GBM has put F down on the counter, and is drinking the cereal directly from the bowl
GBM: Maybe later. I've gotta work.
F: Hey! you can't do that!
GBM (sfx): slurp
F: That violates the terms of service!!
p4 - a cop with mirrored aviator sunglasses and no neck kicks down the front door and starts shooting immediately
Cop: Freeze! Term-violating scum!
GBM (doing the "dying for bush's oil profits!" pose, two cartoony holes in his belly, from which milk and unchewed cereal cubes spill freely): AW!

G. Whilikerz @timeskull.bsky.social · 4h ago

868 - Fish Food

p1 - A Florida Pompano is swimming back and forth frantically in an aquarium
Florida Pomano (thinking in all panels): AAAH! AAAH!
p2
FP (bumping into glass wall): AAAAAH!!!
p3 - close up of FP's distressed face
FP: What's going on?? Why's the water solid here?
FP: Why can I only swim a short distance in any direction?? AAH!!
p4 - a hand is dropping fish food into the tank, and FP immediately stops panicking to chow down
FP: oh, hey, some fish food!

jimprov @jimprov.sendusyourmoney.com · 2mo ago

I wanted these stickers too so here are some that I remade shop.sendusyourmoney.com/products/eco...

Economist sticker sheet

Show the Economist that you aren't afraid of capitalism and, in fact, cheer on its demise.

shop.sendusyourmoney.com

Ketan Joshi@ketanjoshi.co · 2mo ago

where do I get these stickers!!!!!!!

jimprov @jimprov.sendusyourmoney.com · 5h ago

oh now is it going to be Profile Pic?

IGN@ign.com · 7h ago

Avatar director James Cameron has signaled that he may be ready to move on from the franchise. https://bit.ly/3TXbuca

Van Weasel @vanweezer.myatproto.social · 13h ago

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣤⣀⣀⣀⠀⠻⣷⣄ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠀⠀⠀⠹⣿⣦⡀ ⠀⠀⢀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⣿⣧ ⠀⠀⠙⢿⣿⡿⠋⠻⣿⣿⣦⡀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⡆ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠀⠀⠀⠈⠻⣿⣿⣦⡀⠀⢸⣿⣿⡇ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣄⡀⠀⠀⠈⠻⣿⣿⣶⣿⣿⣿⠁ ⠀⠀⠀⣠⣿⣿⢿⣿⣶⣶⣶⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⡁ ⢠⣶⣿⣿⠋⠀⠀⠉⠛⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠛⠻⣿⣿⣦⡀ ⣿⣿⠟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠻⣿⡿

mike taddow @miketaddow.bsky.social · 17h ago

this man should get combat pay bc he was FIGHTING here

Samantha Bartram @samebartram.bsky.social · 22h ago

I feel so POWERFUL

Me, a white lady, wearing an extremely rad t shirt - it's a black v neck featuring a cluster of delicious looking vegetables, surrounded by sick lightening, over which the word VEGETABLES is emblazoned in green letters

Samantha Bartram@samebartram.bsky.social · 4w ago

Copped ✅️

Angst Harrier @angstharrier.bsky.social · 2y ago

Parody cover of the Sega Genesis game "Bonkers" based on the Disney Afternoon show. Title reads, "All Cops Are Bastards"

Joseph Cain @nightmarefixer.bsky.social · 16h ago

Damn, Ness got strapped.

Crop from quoted image of a smiling kid in a blue and yellow stripped shirt holding up a handgun.

jimprov@jimprov.sendusyourmoney.com · 2y ago

advertisement poster for "Are you Smarter than a 5th Grader" but "smarter" has been replaced with "braver" and the promotional photograph features four children with Jeff Foxworthy between the third and fourth. Each of the kids is holding a handgun in the air while Jeff Foxworthy is wearing a police cap and addressing a walkie-talkie with a nonplussed expression.

jimprov @jimprov.sendusyourmoney.com · 16h ago

finally hit over $100mil on a single hand in Balatro

The Average Day Joey @theaveragejoey.bsky.social · 17h ago

the 2026 buisness owner

jimprov @jimprov.sendusyourmoney.com · 17h ago

he stole my bit, but he wore it better

mother@fatnudes.bsky.social · 17h ago

last man on earth is so fucking funny also i love todd forever

will forte and mel rodriguez with their half shaved faces and heads

Kenny Logins @kennylogins.bsky.social · 2y ago

Emily Jungmin Yoon
@EmilyYoon
BACK IN THE DAY, if you made a New Folder on a Korean computer, the folder was automatically named after a bird ("new" in Korean is homonymous w/ "bird"). If you made hundreds, the folders would start "begging" through their names, like "I've run out of bird names," "Please stop"
1:40 AM • 2021-02-04

Butch Fatale @yuri-librarian.bsky.social · 19h ago

The Thing fighting The Hulk he is saying

"Gotcha! This is the way Dory Funk Jr. Always Starts 'Rasslin Matches... And if it's good enough for the champ... it's good enough for ol' Benjamin Grimm"

Dropout @dropout.tv · 23h ago

Let Sam explain how Dropout got The Don Hertzfeldt Collection... 🍌 @donhertzfeldtfilms.bsky.social

Brandon Sheffield @brandon.insertcredit.com · 6d ago

In response to the unprecedented number of game developers laid off this year, we have created a bundle on itch to benefit a Game Industry Hardship Fund, managed by @videogameworkers.bsky.social. More than 100 games for 10+ bucks! Please share widely and donate generously! itch.io/b/3802/game-...

𝕃𝕦𝕔𝕒𝕧𝕚 ⓘ Rude 🐈@lucavi.bsky.social · 24h ago

bartse

Mike.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀@dumbmike.bsky.social · yesterday

Today marks a very special day in science fiction literature. May I present to you, "There Will Come Soft Rains" by Ray Bradbury:

THERE WILL COME SOFT RAINS
By Ray Bradbury

The computer house buzzed awake. “Good morning, everyone,” it said.

Mr. Raynes woke up. He gave a big stretch. His wife was a robot and said “It’s a beautiful day today, my dear.”

“Yes, Mrs. Raynes” said he.

A program ran inside of her cybernetic brain, or “cy-brain”. It calculated the weather and other things.

“It may rain tonight, darling,” the robot mistress of the household said to her master.

He was scrolling through his phone, which was not just a telephonic device, but one with a video screen that could broadcast information from any corner of the earth. There was one application called, ironically, “Blue sky” he was looking at.

“Goodness me,” he intoned, “today is a date of great import. I must be the first to virally post that a story about soft rains coming mentioned this very date!”

He continued to intone. “August 4, 2026. That is the date of today.”

“You will collect hundreds or maybe even … calculating, calculating … thousands of likes, my husband.”

“Oh, look,” he splurted out, walking to the window. A rain began to fall.

“Let us thank God the Father and Christ the Son at His right hand,” said his faithful electronic wife.

“In gratitude, Lord, we look to Thee as our protector. Guide us through dark times and fair. Lead us as a shepherd past the temptations of iniquity and sin, and shelter us your devoted from the wickedness of others until we may join Thee again at the Great Reunion in your kingdom of Heaven. Of Thee, this we pray. Amen,” said Mr. Raynes.

“Amen,” said his robot wife, whose “cy-brain” was connected to the computer house through a “wireless” information relay protocol.

They were both Episcopalian.

Truckstop Vigilante @brenthor.bsky.social · 2y ago

A tuesday that masquerades as a monday is know as The Bastard's Tuesday, and it fucking sucks.

jimprov @jimprov.sendusyourmoney.com · 2mo ago

many thanks to @ruleo.bsky.social for making this several years ago

jimprov@jimprov.sendusyourmoney.com · 3y ago

I keep reading about this dumb video game but thinking it's about Six Flags in Fallujah, which would be pretty fucked up.

jimprov @jimprov.sendusyourmoney.com · yesterday

fuck u xfinity u are garbage bull shit go 2 hell

copy & pasting "Cancel my Xfinity services" a hundred goddam times to drain the comcast ai piggybank these shitfucks made me talk to some poor lady in the Philippines who regaled me of the cyclones they experience during the monsoon season that lasts until January.
Rose was working a shift over midnight her-time and is also a mother of two that worries of school closures due to immense flooding during the monsoon season. I made certain to thank her profusely during the call and also explain that the new service provider I got will not make me jump through embarrassing phone calls to cancel a service that should have been accomplished with an email at the very most.

fittegrateng @ruleo.bsky.social · yesterday

it’s my birthday 🎈here’s to another [REDACTED] years 🎉

I purchased this wallet for my husband's birthday and it spontaneously exploded and blew his ass completely off.
My husband is dead. I don't want to remarry.
I only want sex! See my pussy. Click here.
Whitney Garrison, 49
Topeka. KS

T H E VV O R S T @milfparade.bsky.social · 2d ago

A few weeks ago I realized that tomorrow is the date the Ray Bradbury story “There Will Come Soft Rains” takes place. It’s a shame science fiction from 75 years ago isn’t relevant anymore

There Will Come Soft Rains by Ray Bradbury

The voice-clock sang, breakfast was ejected, but no doors slammed. The garage chimed and lifted its door to reveal the waiting car. The house sat alone in a city of rubble and…

short-stories.co