Star Wars Funeral Parlor
@super256.bsky.social
A guy mourning the state of Star Wars. Before anybody asks, I will never watch Andor.
In the first scene of the Last Jedi, the First Order fleet arrive at a planet as the resistance are making their escape. They arrive in orbit. They are in the vacuum of space, somehow they’re visible from the planet and YOU CAN HEAR THEM ARRIVE. This film is truly, deeply - stupid.
I don't just mean NUFC either. Everything I used to enjoy, WWE, Marvel, Star Wars, the UK in general. Everything has got shitter over the last few years.
Big Stevie Cool@bigsteviecool.bsky.social · 8h agoIt's just all so depressing man.
I am once again watching The Video and the shill saying "once you get in the elevator to the hotel, in my opinion, that's when the experience really begins" took me out hard OH? THE EXPERIENCE STARTS WHEN YOU GET THERE? INDEED!
Getting my back blown out in the haunted, abandoned restaurant in the Star Wars Starship Hotel by a chick dressed like a Twilek called that an Immersive Sexperience.
-isn't so dead after all. That was the story being told. Why is that wrong because people want to see what was happening 20ft away in any given direction?
I don't really understand why "Skywalker" became a dirty word in modern Star Wars fandom. I'll see all these seething rants about how pre Disney Star Wars supported nepotism and...what? The original trilogy is literally about a guy choosing to avenge his dead father and then learning his father-
if they put grogu on a magic card i will make a s'more out of it
The baggage of the MCU tends to suck the air out of its projects for me. I don’t want to feel like I need to do homework. Show me a guy who slays vampires. Show me a dude who spins webs. I don’t care about any of the universe’s machinations. The multiverse even less so.
Spider-Man: Brand New Day features “innovations” for the MCU, such as lighting that doesn’t look flat, real color choices, and images that don’t look entirely bland.
You have been demoted from the rank of "Baby Yoda" and will now be forever branded with the lowly name of "GROGU".... now GO! wander the wastes forever in shame creature.........
Nothing against Daisy or Rey but I would rather shove a burning hot sounding rod into my dick than watch another star wars movie that is a sequel to Rise of Skywalker.
Star Wars Holocron@swholocron.bsky.social · last wk.The new novel STAR WARS: LEGACY sets up the upcoming NEW JEDI ORDER movie starring Daisy Ridley, teases the role the Old Republic may play in the story, and offers a glimpse at what Rey’s Jedi Order will look like. Details here: theholofiles.com/2026/07/28/s...
I'm glad they got rid of Luke's Jedi order just to end up doing a new one anyway glad that happened just so they could rehash the og trilogy.
Star Wars Holocron@swholocron.bsky.social · last wk.The new novel STAR WARS: LEGACY sets up the upcoming NEW JEDI ORDER movie starring Daisy Ridley, teases the role the Old Republic may play in the story, and offers a glimpse at what Rey’s Jedi Order will look like. Details here: theholofiles.com/2026/07/28/s...
nothing screams "cinematic masterpiece" quite like needing a tie-in novel eight years later to fix some plothole loose ends. brilliant stuff.
Polygon@polygon.com · last wk.We finally know the real reason behind that shocking bombshell in The Rise of Skywalker
At a certain point the Marvel and Star Wars franchises stopped being separate films and became episodes of a TV show you sometimes watch at a movie theater.
A truly dismal, embarrassing cultural artifact.
Ebenezer | Official Trailer | Paramount Pictures UK
YouTube video by Paramount Pictures UK
youtu.be
The thing that fascinates me about "super hero fatigue" as a talking point is that no other genre gets it. Nobody's ever said sci-fi fatigue because Star Wars isn't doing great. On an individual level you can not like horror but if you said the entire genre was objectively bad you'd get mocked.
If you want to work with Shawn Levy you have to be able to riff, but on a level that is frickin’ sublime
happy for the cool people getting their bag, but I’m too checked out to care about the Marvel Cinematic Universe
the only impressive thing about Shawn Levy is that he somehow is more empty of a creative vessel than the Russo Brothers
don’t care about Ryan Gosling in Star Wars or the Marvel Cinematic Universe. show me a sequel to The Nice Guys instead.
or you could, like, I dunno- maybe quit beating a 50 year old dead horse & instead invest the billions into things like free clinics, food programs, schools, daycare, libraries etc. as a thank you for the decades of loyalty from your consumers. www.polygon.com/star-wars-lu...
For Star Wars' 50th anniversary, Disney is officially remaking the original trilogy
Lucasfilm Publishing revealed the original Star Wars film is being reimagined next year.
polygon.com
Great. Now the Star Wars AND cool superhero movies starring Ryan Gosling are made by the director of Free Guy. People love their bland nothingburgers when going to the cinema, can't have nice things ever again.
Wario64@wario64.bsky.social · 2w ago'Ryan Gosling joins the MCU in Marvel Studios' Ghost Rider, directed by Shawn Levy. Only in theaters 2028'
L-Gaim continues to be a really good Saturday Morning cartoon. It's interesting that real robot shows are typically seen as darker and more serious (Gundam, basically) when this is very much a real robot series that is reveling in being campy and goofy.
There is a pretty clear line from "Turn your brain off and enjoy it" to "There are no politics in Star Wars!" and, finally, to "EVERYTHING IS WOKE NOW!"
All these announcements seem great, but you can't fool me, Kevin Feige. Back in 2019 you said Mahershala Ali was going to be Blade.
I gotta say. The last ten years, among other things? Absolutely radicalized me against the very concept of franchises. Let. Stories. End. Even the big name media that codified the franchise as a thing, like Star Wars, have been reduced to skeletal husks.
