Mark Christian

@shinyplasticbag.bsky.social

I’m just happy to be here ☀️

Deleting my dating apps because I want to meet someone the old fashioned way (I'm sitting in my living room, he's a large jug of red juice that bursts through the side of my wall)

I’m jonesing man. Need another six-hour YouTube video about some petty shit I don’t care about. “The Racist History of Twizzlers.” I’ll take anything

People are saying it's impossible for Jeff Bezos to spend $600 million on a wedding but that's because they're poor and have never gone to a Second Invasion of Grenada themed wedding

Here's a true story about my dad. When I was little, we were on a beach in Oregon and he found a message in a bottle. The note contained an address, with a plea in a young boy's handwriting to send a postcard and let him know how far the bottle had traveled.

me: maybe we shouldn't think about hot dogs all the time brain: that sounds like a bad idea me: but maybe we could try- brain: hot dogs me: (excited) hot dogs

The two amounts of time I ever have to get somewhere: 1) Why, I can stroll the boulevard, appraising the wares of local merchants. Ah, Fabrizio! How’s the boy 2) gonna have to do parkour