Bold New Mancunian Future

@dismalchips.bsky.social

This is a place of honour. Highly-esteemed deeds are commemorated here.

"Foreign Secretary Ed Miliband, recently appointed to the role by the new Prime Minister, Andy Burnham, meets Secretary of State Rubio in Washington" is one of those lines that would sound perfectly plausible to anyone in 2015, but explaining the intervening period would give them an aneurysm.

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Bought a new box of cat food, and while I was putting two sachets out in their bowls the FUCKING SMALL CAT dipped into the box and bit open a sachet, causing cat food juice to leak over the other sachets, meaning I have to wash them all or they will gain the sort of stink that causes instant vomit

Yeah but when these dipshits say "execution" they mean "killed in prison, with the knowledge of the authorities and probably by a Muslim". Which also doesn't happen. Tommy Robinson insisted the same would happen to him and he's still around using god's gift of oxygen.

Gemma Clark 🧿🕯️@gemmaclark.bsky.social · 13h ago

Andrew Tate’s lawyer is claiming they will be executed in the U.K. Unfortunately MAGAs will believe anything so just to be really clear, there is no such thing as the death penalty in the U.K. and there hasn’t been for many decades.

Andrew Tate’s lawyer is claiming they will be executed in the U.K. Unfortunately MAGAs will believe anything so just to be really clear, there is no such thing as the death penalty in the U.K. and there hasn’t been for many decades.

Algorithmic social media is so weird. A while ago my Instagram was full of sincere, heartfelt announcements of the deaths of people I had never heard of. Evidently some time recently I looked at a post about couples who share a channel, announcing their separation, because I keep getting them.

This was the one that felt to me most like a US SNL sketch, the occasional times they hit. "The bizarre creative decisions that went into this cultural artefact" feels to me like an SNL stock-in-trade, the only problem being that the only other example I can think of is More Cowbell.

Neil Norman And His Cosmic Orchestra@fubsyshabaroon.bsky.social · 2d ago

Perhaps the unlikeliest of comedy sketches to crop up in 2026, but also one of the funniest:

this is kind of driving me nuts because an "era" is basically a rebranded "album cycle" and, I dunno, half of all major musicians since the late 60s have reinvented their image/style to varying degrees from release to release and created "lore" for fans to decode? www.newyorker.com/culture/the-...

Forget Albums—Pop Stars Measure Their Careers in Eras Now

Since the earthshaking success of Taylor Swift’s Eras Tour, artists from the Weeknd to Ariana Grande have tried to imbue their live shows with a sense of history.

newyorker.com

The problem I always find with following Respectable Centre Right types is that sure, for a while it's stimulating to have your assumptions challenged but sooner or later they start on about the regrettable nerd to let the navy sink small boats or something and you realise they're just politer cunts

LiLBaz@lilbazza.bsky.social · 2d ago

Yo, where are all my respectable bigots & impoverishers of the poor at so I can have a chummy intellectual chinwag in the marketplace of ideas about how to monster the vulnerable but politely?

Marie Le Conte @youngvulgarian.marieleco...

that may put me in a minority - and I accept not everyone uses social media at least partly for their work - but |miss having some interesting eg centre-right people on here! having a Twitter timeline full of clever people from over the political spectrum was good for the brain
9:14 AM. Aug 4, 2026

Incredible shit here: the guy Badenoch is defending was sent to prison for sending racist abuse to the MP Luciana Berger. Who then did a whole series of interviews and columns talking about her criminal harassment by Nazis, in a manner intended to make listeners believe it was done by Labour members

flyingrodent@flyingrodent.bsky.social · 2d ago

Even I am taken aback at the new and surprising ways these people find to insult the public’s intelligence and make it more clear the only operative professional standard in force is “LOL fuck you”

Badenoch said: "So I want to be very clear, and I think people can look at me and know that I'm not a person who would be recruiting neo-Nazis to the Conservative Party.
"Joshua Bonehill-Paine is someone who actually has been certified by the Home Office to train police officers on anti-Semitism and on countering extremism.
"Yes, he is somebody who had been previously convicted for this, but he is someone has shown contrition for his crimes, has been rehabilitated and is spending every day working to solve the very problem which he knew he had caused previously.
"He's going up and down the country training people and the Conservative Party believes in second chances.
"This is not just someone that we've picked up who's a convicted criminal, this is somebody who is actively working to help communities, especially Jewish communities and this is what I want to see.
"I want second chances for people, for people who've learned their lessons, for people who are showing that they know what they did was wrong.
"What I don't want to see is early release of people who have no contrition whatsoever, who don't care, and who are going to be out on the streets actually harming people.

Discworld story where Charlie Kirk sets up his Change My Mind stall at Unseen University. Mustrum Ridcully is initially supportive because it'll show the layabout students what's what, but he gets so annoying that they tell him to go discuss issues of species rights with the Librarian.

Gareth Watkins@garethwatkins.bsky.social · 3d ago

Cthulhu story where Miskatonic University goes anti-woke and they stop probing the mysteries of the Old Ones and set up a Charlie Kirk Free Speech Corner.

Brave Andy throws up bits like this that make me think, 'ok maybe you get it', but then I remember that he's left Shabana 'finish the job' Mahmood in the Home Office, so it doesn't matter if he gets it, when his party is rancid, and devoid of talent, with no interest in making meaningful change.

"People want to see this issue addressed," he said in Dover, adding: "We also need to build a system that offers safe routes for people as well, because that also takes away the selling point of the gangs."

Using lists of three is not an "AI tell." It's a common trait in human writing because our brains biologically want to make sure there's always one thing to marry, one thing to fuck, and one thing to murder.