in space no one can hear you redoing confrontations you handled poorly

Started a new series about murder ballads, one of my strange obsessions. Check it out...and if you like consider subscribing. New content dropping tonight! Thanks bluesky fam ❤️ 💀❤️

Murder Ballad Monday #1

Deep Red Bells by Neko Case

open.substack.com

It really takes a lot of courage for hamburger to ask for help.

Girls don't like boys girls like drugs and French fries

the little moans coming from inside the trojan horse are from me bc i’m eating baked brie with fig jam

A series of unfortunate events but now it’s your government.

Turned this rant into a blog post. davekarpf.beehiiv.com/p/the-data-c...

The data center backlash Is working. That's why the New York Times is so concerned.

I have a

davekarpf.beehiiv.com

Dave Karpf@davekarpf.bsky.social · last wk.

I'm reading the "environmentalists are wrong about data centers" piece from the NYT and ohmygoditssofuckingbad. Apparently, so long as you're punching left, they'll just let you say any goddamn thing you please... www.nytimes.com/2026/07/25/o...

My shower is broken so I walked through the car wash naked. That hot wax has really made me shiny and I've got that new car smell

Seeing blue oyster cult tonight I hope they play that one song you know the one

babe what do you mean you can’t stand the sound of me incessantly chewing ice?

Spite is as good a reason to stay alive as any

who do we want? the funk soul brother when do we want him? right about now

I hate it when I visit a small, isolated town with a history of occult activity to conduct my historical research but all the townsfolk seem rude and creepy except for one person who's charming and modern and then that person turns out to be the devil.

PLEASE REPOST AND SHARE WIDELY!!! We need your help once again, you magnificent Space Unicorns! Behold the Uncanny Magazine Year 13: The Space Unicorn Believes in YOU! Kickstarter!!! buff.ly/Gab1zWu

It's a mercifully cool, rainy morning and my kid just put on a YouTube video of every iron maiden song ever LETS GOoooOo

Stop doomscrolling and read about cliff swallows and murder ballads instead 👻

Touching Grass, Cherry Kills and the Enduring Power of Murder Ballads

The heat that has plagued much of the rest of the country and Northern Hemisphere finally came for us in Montana last weekend.

open.substack.com

Peeled an orange in bed last night. Left the peels for the aroma. I’ll throw em out when I get up whatever

“Enchanté,” I say, shaking your dog’s paw.

live laugh lower them into the pit

Host: Let's play Wheel Of Ornithology! Me: Are there any jays? Host: No sorry Me: I'd like to buy an owl

*sinking into old destructive behavior patterns like a warm bath* ahhhhhhh....this feels nice

I get my steps in by walking away from reality

"i hope i get discovered organically and not through an ad," i say as i bleed out in a snowy forest

Listen, I know I've barely mentioned my secret underground monorail lately, but I didn't want to get lumped in with certain other supervillains in the news.

birds wake up screaming bc they’re empaths

Stop doomscrolling and read about cliff swallows and murder ballads instead 👻

Touching Grass, Cherry Kills and the Enduring Power of Murder Ballads

The heat that has plagued much of the rest of the country and Northern Hemisphere finally came for us in Montana last weekend.

open.substack.com

In a major turn of events It turns out I'm depressed They say I use jokes and joy to avoid the realization But I can think of solutions for that Just turn on the radio and cock it back I just don't wanna blow my brains out to Hotel California

Must feel so good for text after you hit ctrl-x, floating in liminal space, before ctrl-v thrusts it back onto the desolate page

*Self immolating* me flirting

Me every summer day: I want to go out and do something fun tonight!! Me once I'm out, trying to talk to people: you'll have to excuse me sir I think I just saw a lizard in the corner I'm going to go investigate