How many shitposts does it take until I find inner peace?

Time to watch Brewster's Millions again for no reason whatsoever

it is literally a death cult

Carl Quintanilla@carlquintanilla.bsky.social · last wk.

Via @catgyoung.bsky.social

Apparently all the giant swallowtails are jumpy

“i’m still punk” i whisper to myself as i turn on the captions so i can hear my tv

Some of you have never needed an emergency iced coffee, and it shows.

I would never be lost in the wilderness because I could simply signal planes or ships at a distance with the bioluminescent paleness of my bare ass

Oh dammit. 😥 globalnews.ca/news/1199502...

Singer Carly Simon reveals Parkinson’s disease and cancer diagnoses - National | Globalnews.ca

'I do not consider Parkinson's a gift or a blessing. It is neither. It is difficult, frustrating, and sometimes frightening,' the 'You're So Vain' singer said in a statement.

globalnews.ca

I’m a New Jersey success story.* *I’ve never set foot in New Jersey.

None of this world is real. We’re all figments of John Fetterman’s post-stroke mind

It is absolutely heartbreaking to listen to either of the Obamas speak at this point. Trump is horrible and an embarrassment.

life is too short to stop posting

I wish random adults would just spontaneously “turn goth” one day and stay that way for years like when we were teenagers

i for one am glad the internet is nothing but bots now just means i can go outside finally

Never beating the dead horse accusations

(sitting on a heated toilet seat for the first time ever) i should call him

Lurking beneath a mundane puddle, waiting to thrill you

Telling the full moon all about it

califartication, is this anything?

if you come over and rub my back until I fall asleep, I’ll let you use the good pillows

i'm not always active on bsky dot app but when i am i fvckin am

INTERVIEWER: where do you see yourself in 5 years? ME: well, I suppose that depends on whether or not the water wars have started yet

you’re hot but in celsius

where the heck is jeff? i could use a la croix, not

few things are as graceful as me grunting and rolling my hips and ass around on a foam roller as I take -1 damage every couple seconds

damn babe are you a diamond in the rough? cause i’d let you into my cave of wonders.

I think most people know I'm not flirting with them.