Abuser Max Miller will end up getting pushed out of Congress. He will then be hired by ICE

All Musk has to do now is shave his head bald and he will complete his transition to Lex Luther.

Dumb people gonna dumb

turns out stupid hot people aren't all that hot

You call one person Dipshit and everyone stares as if it is their name as well.

It's like people are surprised that Rand Paul is an Asshole

Spaceballs Assholes

ALT: Spaceballs Assholes

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Bring back music videos

Ok, now lets put our shoes on and go out there and do our best to listen and understand and try not to make any more dumb decisions today, ok? No, that shoe goes on the other foot . . . there you go. ~ Morning pep talk to the President, probably

Dissociated so hard I found inner peace

I wish all these billionaires would go buy themselves a sense of decency. Or just fuck all the way off to your private island, never to be seen again.

Get out there and reach for your dreams, fuckface

Do that thing you know I like. <make me coffee.>

If a politician who represents you lies to you, that should be an automatic disqualifier. That's it, you're out. Gone. Replaced. Hope the door hits ya ass on the way out.

Nobody thinks about lubrication . . . until you don't have any

So much of this was easily preventable

I think I speak for the world when I say what the fuck is this shit

She is beautiful . . . sexy . . . and a complete fucking trainwreck!

You miss all of the shots you don’t take but you have more energy and don’t have to see people, if you just sit down

Time to clock in at the idiot factory

Newtons 4th law of Gravity: It will always land jelly side down. Always

FFS people, listen up. Three things you never need to post on social media... 1. Fireworks 2. Concerts 3. Holiday dinners Just fucking stop!

McConnell is probably alive and dead at the same time.

Im just over here reveling in the fact that my left pinky toenail is smarter than the President.

I hate it when a skeet breaks containment.

Be yourself, but over there.

Where my head goes every time I hear some MAGA person trying to justify one of the many horrific parts of the current administration

Princess Bride: I Do Not Think It Means

ALT: Princess Bride: I Do Not Think It Means

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What the fuck are we even doing?

Understand this: If someone celebrates your death . . . You have given them a reason to.

Every time I think the world can’t get any stupider, it proves me wrong.

Can someone send me over this weeks list of household goods that cause cancer? I only have last weeks list which is obviously completely outdated now