my most toxic trait is the spores i emit when my partner corrects me

Friend: you couldn't fight your way out of a paper bag Me: what the hell am I doing in a paper bag?

Perfect headline. No notes

Trump Is Having a Major Problem With Diarrhea

Trump has a major explosive diarrhea problem on his hands. Cases are on the rise and the situation doesn't appear to be "under control."

futurism.com

Heyyy Texas you wanted Elon, you got em. Dont cry now you fucking pussies. Meanwhile, in Fremont, the fish are just fine. For now.

Making America Great Again by bringing back WW2-level debt and deadly diseases that hadn’t been seen for decades

Steve Rattner@steverattner.bsky.social · 2w ago

Under Trump, the debt held by the federal government has surpassed 100% of GDP. By 2030, it’ll shoot pass its all-time record from WWII. My @morningjoe-msnow.bsky.social Chart

if you think something being "natural" or "plant-based" makes it healthy and something being made in a lab and loaded into a syringe is inherently dangerous, you're an idiot. you should lose access to your kids if you harm them due to this belief www.propublica.org/article/more...

Babies Are Bleeding to Death as Parents Reject a Vitamin Shot Given at Birth

A lifesaving injection given at birth to prevent severe bleeding has become collateral damage of the anti-vaccine movement.

propublica.org

Everyone hates the picture on their license to kill

The most oft-repeated phrase in America : “I’m so sick of his shit”

That night, Donnie was haunted by two ghosts...

i'm not responsible for any ren faire boners

I'm hoping there's nothing sexier than a woman, in "Home of the Whopper" Burger King boxer shorts, eating three day old teriyaki chicken wings over the kitchen sink

It's pretty ballsy of Jolly Ranchers to bank on the fact that you're okay eating a little plastic wrap with your candy

my mom has finally realized that she's better off w/o a man good job bitch only took seventy something years but good job

Most people don't know you can exchange a cat for a burger at any Burger King drive-thru.

🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️ One milkshake to rule the boys, one milkshake to find them, one milkshake to bring the boys and in my yard to bind them 🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️

"Screaming makes me more correct!"--people on YouTube who couldn't be more incorrect.

would the gentleman care for a kick in the groin? no charge

I pronounce “marinara” differently depending on who I’m with

I come from the land where the jamooks roam free

Quote of the day: Nicolae Ceaușescu, just months before being overthrown by the Romanian people, spending an inordinate amount of time micromanaging his grandiose vanity building project rather than running the country. archive.org/details/revo...

Never doubt your own happiness I say as I do a backflip into the wood chipper

Never forget the liars who told you and told you that Democratic Socialism would never work. The people that brought you Trump’s pedocracy did everything they could to stop Mamdani.

Ladies and gentlemen, presenting the lead singer of the Hababamevi Folk Band. 😸 - Ah shall sing now.. or later. Ah think Ah feel the onset of a quick nap. 😁😹😂 (From the account - Pınar Göktaş (@hababamevi_)) #cat #leadsinger #folkmusic #lol

BREAKING: Charles Manson backs out of the Freedom 250 concert