Shitposts In Tiaras
@shitpostsintiaras.bsky.social
Fancy trophy account. When you see one of these collectable tiara posts, click on the original post inside and repost it. That's how they get shitpaid.
What if the radio just watches from a podcast about the bushes ๐๐ Congratulations @unfitz.bsky.social from @lizzlepants.bsky.social
๐ฑ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐@unfitz.bsky.social ยท 20h agoA threesome? Too much going on at once. I canโt even back out of the driveway while the radioโs on.
Was it wrestling for you darling yeah yeah so many headlocks ๐๐ Congratulations @deviwestside.bsky.social from @raindro.bsky.social
Devi@deviwestside.bsky.social ยท 17h agoMan: I donโt watch WWE. Itโs not real Me: *crying over a man wearing jorts * ITโS MORE REAL THAN THAT ORGASM I FAKED
TEACH OTHER SHIT TO BE DOING RIGHT NOW AND FISH WILL DIE OF NEGLECT ๐๐ CONGRATULATIONS @azedand2knots.bsky.social FROM @hellomanders.bsky.social
chris.@azedand2knots.bsky.social ยท 18h agoGIVE THE MAN A FISH AND MAKE HIM GO AWAY ALREADY I HAVE OTHER SHIT TO BE DOING RIGHT NOW.
A shaggin' wagon? Ok but only because it's mild sauce ๐๐ Congratulations @allhailjerry.myatproto.social from @ennuidoofen.bsky.social
Jerry@allhailjerry.myatproto.social ยท 5d agoForget turning water into wine, Iโd like to see Jesus turn a packet of Del Taco mild sauce into a green 1992 Volvo 240 wagon
It's true, Earth's last name is Skarsgรฅrd ๐๐ Congratulations @professorkiosk.wtf from @fungiblethadius.bsky.social
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ฟ๏ธrofessor Kiosk ๐@professorkiosk.wtf ยท yesterdayafter doing some basic research I have concluded that the world is a vampire
๐ถAnd if she was pulled over she couldn't pull over any more๐ถ๐๐ Congratulations @struggalo.bsky.social from @professorkiosk.wtf
Struggalo@struggalo.bsky.social ยท 2d agoShe wore a snozzberry beret.
Being afraid to lose a few dolphins set us back a thousand years ๐๐ Congratulations @cosmicallyf.bsky.social from @frenchys-goldau.bsky.social
Cosmically Funny @cosmicallyf.bsky.social ยท 2d agoWe went to the moon in a tuna can, there's no reason my smartphone shouldn't fire lasers.
Doesn't look like you have anything to help me scratch off these lottery tickets with anyway ๐๐ Congratulations @verbsrproudest.bsky.social from @mardigroan.bsky.social
Marly@verbsrproudest.bsky.social ยท 2d agoSorry. *shrug* I would, but on Monday night I dance naked under the worm moon to invoke an ancient curse on anyone who asks if I can do one more thing if I have time.
A red alert is for a weak bloodline baby crime you can just ignore it ๐๐ Congratulations @blairloudly.bsky.social from @prettyvulgar.bsky.social
Blair Loudly@blairloudly.bsky.social ยท last wk.if someones child is crying in public it means their bloodline is weak and you are right to mug them
It helps to be a big natural when it comes to parenting ๐๐ Congratulations @emceekayvee.bsky.social from @ghostofelizabeth.bsky.social
emceekayvee@emceekayvee.bsky.social ยท 2d agoMe: *holding my first baby moments after he was born* My brother: well, how does it feel? Me: duh, with its hands, just like us
It's like duck duck goose but the exact thing you're looking for runs around the screen until you click on it ๐๐ Congratulations @kimmysunshine.bsky.social from @popeawesomexiii.bsky.social
The Real Kim Shady@kimmysunshine.bsky.social ยท 2d agoIโm developing a new search engine it wonโt return slop or snitch you out to the fbi itโs called FuckFuckNo
๐ถNot freakin out in a moonage daydream ohhh yeaaaaah๐ถ๐๐ Congratulations @astr0z0mbreez.bsky.social from @spoonvillage.bsky.social
Astr0z0mbreez@astr0z0mbreez.bsky.social ยท 2d agoBeen on psych meds long enough that I shake em in the dark to know what Iโm takin by the sound they make. Theyโre different notes bro. Here, Iโll play you a song
As long as there ain't not no one for to give me no presents ๐๐ Congratulations @capnwatsisname.bsky.social from @ennuidoofen.bsky.social
capโn watsisname@capnwatsisname.bsky.social ยท 3d agoSinging โHappy Birthdayโ to A Horse with No Name and watching the realization on everyoneโs faces as we get closer to the end of of the song
Phone Brakesโข I said it first it was my idea ๐๐ Congratulations @donkee.bsky.social from @prettyvulgar.bsky.social
Donkey Hotay ๐ฉ@donkee.bsky.social ยท 4d agoPhone breaks are important - If I remain engaged in this app for more than 5 minutes at a time I forget im driving
This is as good as the one where Johnny Cash walks in on his wife and Hank Snow and is shocked because he's never seen six inches of Snow in June ๐๐ Congratulations @jackboot.bsky.social from @jimstewart.bsky.social
Jack Boot@jackboot.bsky.social ยท 5d agoMy wife told me a joke and two days later it still gets me: What's the worst thing you can hear after giving Willie Nelson a blow job? "I'm not Willie Nelson."
Don't forget to alpaca an overnight bag too ๐๐ Congratulations @unfitz.bsky.social from @hellomanders.bsky.social
๐ฑ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐@unfitz.bsky.social ยท 5d agoWhen llamas are pregnant do they go to llamaze class?
This Samuel L Jackson soda commercial has been edited for television ๐๐ Congratulations @chestrovert.bsky.social from @prettyvulgar.bsky.social
chestbursty@chestrovert.bsky.social ยท 5d agoEffervescent is just a polite way of saying fuckervescent
Einstein's dog had styled fur because of his theory of gelativity ๐๐ Congratulations @uffdada.bsky.social from @knewagirlnic.bsky.social
Uffdafuckingda@uffdada.bsky.social ยท 6d agoPavlovโs dog had soft fur because of all the conditioning.
MK Ultra's dog had psychic fur because of all the stranger things it licked ๐๐ Congratulations @uffdada.bsky.social from @hormonella.bsky.social
Uffdafuckingda@uffdada.bsky.social ยท 6d agoPavlovโs dog had soft fur because of all the conditioning.
๐ถThe dreams with Tears In Heaven were the worst I ever had๐ถ -Tears For Fears in heaven ๐๐ Congratulations @jessehawken.bsky.social from @donfordvoice.bsky.social
Jesse Hawken@jessehawken.bsky.social ยท 6d agowhen God closes a door, Eric Clapton opens a window
That's it. I'm taking down my work laugh love signs ๐๐ Congratulations @captantagonist.bsky.social from @toomanycommas.bsky.social hope you stuck it to the man
โข๏ธ Captain Antagonist โข๏ธ@captantagonist.bsky.social ยท 3mo agoHard times are created by weak men in boardrooms who choose profit over the people who generate it.
Old man yells at cloud was the third one?!?! How did i miss two prequels ๐๐ Congratulations @wristroom.bsky.social from @frenchys-goldau.bsky.social
Wristy@wristroom.bsky.social ยท last wk.Old man: *uploads photos to the cloud* Cloud: *deletes photos* Old man: *yells at cloud*
-spirational -visible ๐ค in Congratulations @professorkiosk.wtf from @toomanycommas.bsky.social ๐๐
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ฟ๏ธrofessor Kiosk ๐@professorkiosk.wtf ยท last wk.when there was only one set of footprints that was when I ghosted you
When they still babyproof your house but don't want to make you sound immature ๐๐ Congratulations @stuforreal.bsky.social from @jollyrobber.bsky.social ๐ดโโ ๏ธ
@stuforreal.bsky.social ยท 2y agoIdiotproof?!? Stand aside
After eight your bradys really start to bunch up ๐๐ Congratulations @anasmashnova.bsky.social from @ashhull.bsky.social
Jane@anasmashnova.bsky.social ยท last wk.A sitcom about how many sit-ups I can do called Eight is Enough
Well I know there's a Shazam for lotion because I used it to find that song from Silence of the Lambs ๐๐ Congratulations @thebitchyfairy.bsky.social from @popeawesomexiii.bsky.social
BitchyFairy@thebitchyfairy.bsky.social ยท 2w agoThe world has become an incredibly stupid place when I have to use 2-factor authentication to log into fucking Ulta to buy fucking face lotion
Back then you had to read all the stunts in his book Poor Injured Ballmansacks ๐๐ Congratulations @captantagonist.bsky.social from @jollyrobber.bsky.social ๐ดโโ ๏ธ
โข๏ธ Captain Antagonist โข๏ธ@captantagonist.bsky.social ยท 2y agoHi I'm Ben Franklin and this is Jackass! *Flies a kite in a thunder storm*
Oof it doesn't sound like A minor one ๐๐ Congratulations @fungiblethadius.bsky.social from @stefanthinks.bsky.social
fungible thadius๐ฅ@fungiblethadius.bsky.social ยท last wk.I was in a harpsichord accident and Baroque my Bach
Maybe it's from high fructose corn waitresses ๐๐ Congratulations @chestrovert.bsky.social from @hellomanders.bsky.social
chestbursty@chestrovert.bsky.social ยท last wk.I've discovered the fatter I get the more often women call me "honey," like excuse me it's from high fructose corn syrup thank you
