ive done the math. i have to hit knuckles with my subaru outback

can't remember the word for "so desperate to dunk that you lose the ability to recognize when someone is doing a bit" but the majority of the replies here are taking at face value the idea that this user is asking ChatGPT their own mom's name

Bingus Khan, of the Glorious Chicago Khanate@bingus.ough.club · 7h ago

absolutely destroyed lmao

When Tammy 2 shows up in Pawnee

The Michigan primary is over. It's time for unity. Time for healing. If somebody who shall not be named didn't realize until this morning that "AES" stood for "Abdul El-Sayed" despite having repeatedly seen the name and the initials, well by golly I think he shouldn't have to feel embarrassed.

10 years ago today

gm

Good morning Bluesky ☀️ My grandad told me he saw the Titanic - from the outset he warned all the people that the ship would sink, but nobody listened to him. He knew he was right and didn't give up. He warned them again & again, until eventually they kicked him out of the cinema.

It's not that the UK is less racist than us, they definitely aren't, it's that they think the primary natural hierarchy of the world is not according to race but according to whether or not you went to one of three fancy schools

Mic Wright@brokenbottleboy.bsky.social · 14h ago

What’s amazing about the Telegraph crew is how thin their pretence of believing in ‘free speech’ really is.

Have a blessed day folks

for those who celebrate: it is the 20th anniversary of a funny dog eat a pepsi.

ok now that I've gotten public buy-in on the Taco Bell Principle, let's find out if we can apply it in real time

Sarah Taber@sarahtaber.bsky.social · yesterday

I would like to propose the Taco Bell Principle When a person/institution Did A Problem, & IMMEDIATELY fesses up & takes proactive steps to solve it That's exactly what we want them to do? So how bout we let them live ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

“Texas toast” is a total scam, just like many other things from that wretched state

America is collecting diarrhea-inducing vegetables like they're Pokemon. Eventually we'll have a team* capable of defeating** the Elite 4*** *salad **forcing you to shit out ***entirety of your gastrointestinal system.

Matt Novak@paleofuture.bsky.social · yesterday

“Chipotle Mexican Grill Inc. removed jalapeños from multiple stores in Minnesota after learning the peppers may be linked to a salmonella outbreak in the state that’s sickened 110 people.”

THE SIRENS

I kinda thought that we all agreed that "fuck the plague cult and all its deranged adherents" was a good belief to have. The hell is this.

Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez@ocasio-cortez.house.gov · 2d ago

There is pervasive corruption across our healthcare and agricultural systems that defy party lines. I meet with MAHA activists because a lot of their concerns are bipartisan issues that major corporations paint as partisan. The fight isn't left and right, it's top and bottom.

If you die because you refused to get a vaccine or purposefully drank raw milk or whatever you're gonna need a damn good explanation that you were a person of value that I should care about losing

Okay so let them die

Charles EP Murphy@cepmurphy.bsky.social · 2d ago

news.sky.com/story/nhs-st... stereotypically this has been seen as Old People, but not only would the old people of now have often been born post-Windrush, lot of this will be younger people who've always lived in a diverse Britain. The guy with a pregnant wife likely millennial at oldest

Name consultant, fixer of literary names: Leave it to me, J.R.R. Let’s have a look here. Ahem. “At the back of the tavern sat the dark figure of a man. He would soon make himself known to the hobbits as Strider, but as the true king of men, he bore yet another name: Leonard Craisins.”

9 TIMES OUT OF 10 THE MOST BRAIN POISONED TAKES ARE SOMEONE TRYING TO WIN A FIGHT WITH SOMEONE BY ATTEMPTING TO MANIFEST A SCENARIO WHERE IT WAS ACTUALLY RACIST FOR THEM TO SAY "YOU ARE ACTING REALLY WEIRD ABOUT THIS FANDOM BULLSHIT."

Bruno Dias@brunodias.dev · 6mo ago

this website is a machine for surfacing extremely rarefied internecine beef from toxic friend groups and you need to be able to recognize when it's happening and avert your gaze

We had fewer than 6 months' worth of missiles? Where the fuck was our tax money going to?

CNBC@cnbc.com · yesterday

U.S. has used 'virtually all' of its long-range precision missiles during Iran war: Reuters

Creedence Clearwater Revengeance send skeet

“It’s not a fight between left and right, it’s between top and bottom. Which is why I met with a bunch of plague cultists for the most powerful man in the entire world.”

Weedle@weedle.bsky.social · 2d ago

Sure the MAHA activists want to make it illegal for trans people to access hormones but they're so authentic and populist about it so

People keep talking about three-cueing on this site like it's to blame for people reading less and less, but I don't think I can agree. The median user here is a 38-year old Twitter expat. We were basically all on the same site beforehand, and I didn't see nearly as many complaints about illiteracy

Tales from the Nintendo counsellors: Angry Animal Crossing 📖: EGM, August 2004

im fucking crying pls just watch this

This is Miyamoto. I am here to share news on the upcoming Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time for the Nintendo Switch 2. Please unlock your front door.

I have now been laughing about how they added “of Fire” after a now defunct music service pulled trademark shenanigans for 20 years. At the end of the day I’m more a Kamelot guy tho