“You know how older cars need more and more upkeep until it’s just not worth maintaining ‘em?” the doctor says, sort of motioning up and down my body.
Damien Owens
@damienowens.bsky.social
Writer/fancy ape damienowens.com Latest book, Duffy and Son: https://shorturl.at/6oF6O
[job interview] boss: what would you do if faced with a situation where- me: give up immediately
Bluesky is a "liberal bubble" because fascist chuds can't get traction without algorithmic assistance and because people here trained themselves to block "debate me" trybois the instant they roll up
The Verge@theverge.com · 2d agoBluesky's new CEO Toni Schneider on the platform's reputation for being a liberal bubble: "Yes, we definitely want that to change. It is already changing. It certainly wasn’t designed to attract one specific group of people."
Watching Ken Burns's documentary on World War 2. Behold this guy's very moving memory of VJ Day.
Friend, who chose The Amulet of Great Wealth: Haven't seen you since The Choosing, how's life? Me, who chose The Amulet of Creativity: I'm great man yeah all good super good
Guerilla warfare training, day one: ‘First and foremost, we never just “go” back into the hills. We “melt away’’. If I catch any of you going somewhere you should be melting away to, by God, you’ll wish you’d never been born.’
My experience of the posting game: you spend half an hour carefully crafting a joke and it gets two pity likes. Toss out any old crap after four seconds’ thought and it eventually winds up on knowyourmeme. knowyourmeme.com/memes/curtai...
Curtains For Zoosha | Know Your Meme
Curtains For Zoosha is a catchphrase referencing a viral X / Twitter post by @OwensDamien where he satirizes Gen Z and Gen Alpha slang and celebrity-focuse
knowyourmeme.com
there is a clear hierarchy of objects we will take batteries out of to put in other objects and I suspect objects know their place in it
Prequels everywhere but still no interest in my script I Wonder What You’ll Do Next Summer.
Nobody ever explained to me what a passkey is or how they work. Websites just started asking me for passkeys like it's something we talked about.
Haha, we’re finally getting some backstory on Ebenezer Scrooge, something your girlfriend Dickens singularly FAILED to provide. Hold on, I’m being passed a note.
[I get home to find a note on the refrigerator that says "I'm leaving and i'm taking the kids"] me: [unplugs fridge from power outlet] you're not going anywhere, you piece of shit
Given how often he'll be Photoshopped out, it's weird that it looks like he was Photoshopped IN.
My guess is they were badly stuck at FIFA headquarters, no idea what the half-time vibe should be, and someone rushed in all excited with a tape of the Late Late Toy Show.
Imagine your team was losing six-nil and you had to sit through this shit for half an hour.
Hiberno-English Yoda: 'Ow! My bare toe on the leg of the fucking chair, I’m after hitting.'
It’s good that Christopher Nolan is bringing The Odyssey to a whole new audience, even though they can’t possibly appreciate it as deeply as those of us familiar with the original Simpsons episode.
PRODUCER: our new show is about a ragtag group of mutant ninja turtles STUDIO EXEC: HOW OLD ARE THEY
This is the most nervous I’ve been about a semi since I watched brokeback mountain
Really sad to hear that Meg Cox has died. She was an fine poet with many different registers. This poem of hers remains a top-notch, acerbic critique of the scene...!
Although I often disagreed with the chimp who tore my child's face off and wore it as a little hat to impress the other chimps, I was nevertheless sad to hear etc., etc.
I find UFC horrific. Why would you want to watch a man being beaten to a paste, unless it’s Conor McGregor? It’s barbarism, pure and simple. If this is your idea of fun, laughing and cheering while a fellow human being is terrorised and humiliated, I feel sorry for you, unless it’s Conor McGregor.
My wife says I remind her of James Bond. I’m not good at following orders, I’m emotionally dead, and she’d like to see the role go to Idris Elba.
Ha, I understand how these rumours get started but I assure you I'm not a robot anywhere.
Just realised that Joni Mitchell's classic isn't 'Both Sides Now' but 'Both Sides, Now', like a school principal summoning warring factions to her office.
RIP bonnie tyler. lotta folks tonight are gonna learn the extent to which 'total eclipse of the heart' is outside their karaoke range