donni saphire
@donni.bsky.social
Chicago if it matters. Dive bar comedy vet. Only seem calm because I’m exhausted. Thinking about some new shirts
Last night my neighbor saw me plunging my hand into the soil, grabbing a fistful of worms then raising them triumphantly above my head as I laughed and lightning crashed around me. Going to be difficult to explain that one.
me: the simpsons have four fingers on each hand so you’d think they’d live in a base 8 society but as far as I can tell there’s no evidence of that in the show my wife: *screaming during labor* the obgyn: hold on i want to hear more about this
Lately, I’ve just been turning and turning in the widening gyre. Sick of this gyre, honestly
The only thing we have to fear is the rapid decline of everything
here to remind you that monday is a social construct and one we can all band together to reject
Who the hell is in charge of my life, anyway? That guy is an idiot
We all have that one friend who is a giant octopus. Big Dave
Your 30s are all about making your peace with death and your 40s are all about asking the guy at the sandwich shop if he ever gets a free sandwich
Top 10 mysterious outsiders who wandered into town and changed our lives forever
The older I get, the less I can pretend to be interested in various kinds of terrible bullshit
Not now. Not here. Not under my brand new semi-adjustable louvered aluminum pergola
Time for my dreams to turn my fears into weird little plays
Had a dream I was stuck on a one-lane behind an old woman driving a "Nissan Cleric"
More like the Male Homieless Epidemic! These men need homies
I’m calm in a crisis, nervous on vacation, and relaxed on most elevators. But not all
A new software update is available! Bug fixes: Computer now makes incredibly loud kookaburra noises in the middle of the night > Update now / Remind me later
Feels like everyone is having a bad time most of the time in these times