“We have revived the ancient office of dictator, in order to protect the republic.” *the next dictator dissolves the republic* “Ah well, nevertheless”

Watched a multi-acre fire break out before my very eyes and then watched a bunch of helicopters show up and put it out. Government was a good idea, it should do more things like that instead of evil and corruption

It’s hard to explain but tv was better when you couldn’t watch the show you wanted whenever you wanted to watch it and most of the shows were worse and the TVs were worse and the entire experience was worse, that’s when it was better

You ever stare at your dog like I can't believe this is free. He could easily charge for this

Well, there's always something, nothing, something else, everything else, and weed. Got a preference?

I dunno man, today just feels like a waste of my business pyjamas

Most people are cool and are cool with each other. The news doesn’t tell you that

The smoke as it climbs the light as it dies.

It's good to hear the rain outside.

My 4-year/old just learned about the concept of infinity and is now throwing a tantrum over it. “It’s weird! I don’t like it. I just want numbers to stop!”

Today, I’m open to the right possibilities.

I know a door handle hate to see my cardigan coming

(The same ones who say they're going to buy an adorable little place here and live off the land are always most astonished to find the land never agreed to that.)

Screws keep falling out of this chair and disappearing and I can’t tell where they’re falling from and I’m not replacing them. I only have one fate left.

Be very careful what you ask of the universe. It's response may very well be high blood pressure.

Im convinced more and more that Covid did a number on people's brains.

morning 🖤

This level of humidity feels personal

Two eyes, awake to the moon, so the sleeping third can slit to the sun.

they should invent dishwashers for all the other chores

I didn't know Madonna knew how to drive.

Not sure I can handle the drama of a boat.

Seems like soccer has the right amount of crying.

I'd like a show that's just an hour of TV cops typing, maybe they eat a danish every once and awhile.

Feathered bangs means I’m journaling again.

Found a paint sample in my pocket. My new life begins today.

I could live in an abandoned car wash.

Driving cross-country is exciting because there's always that possibility that your remains will never be found

When I was a teen, my friend and I wanted to see how many times we could go around a roundabout before the cops pulled us over. The answer is 16

Making time to buy grapes and also eat them.