"Get out of your comfort zone". Bold of you to assume I have ever been comfortable in my life.

don’t invite me to your sleepover unless the other invitees are all cats

Don’t talk to me until my pills kick in. *10 minutes later* I’M A UNICORN!!! Ok, we’re good now.

bought several decorative soaps yesterday, and I feel like a new person

an uber driver wearing sock puppets on both hands that talk to each other about how bad the steering wheel tastes your whole ride

Hot singles in your area find your views on pizza toppings a cause for concern.

(Dumping a big box of googly eyes onto the pizza before shoving it into the oven) My grandmother brought this recipe over from the old country

It’s all fun and games at book club until they give you Middlemarch.

When a remote majesty and the potential for new discovery and danger see you as an adventure, don't just quit your job. Get itchy. Make people lost and call me. I'm a wheeler dealer sayin scat instead of shit

onf: something (or someone) that's so proportionately both on and off that it can't be either or neither

Had that dream again I’m singing “happy birthday mr president” to Frosty the Snowman as a quartet with Teller, one of those robots who fell on the stairs and can’t get up, and an improvising Marlon Brandon in a muumuu and we do jazz hands so long he melts

GIVE THE MAN A FISH AND MAKE HIM GO AWAY ALREADY I HAVE OTHER SHIT TO BE DOING RIGHT NOW.

Avatar (2009) Avatar: The Fonz of Beer Cheese (2022) Avatar: Twizzlers and Shaving Cream (2025)

richie@theregoesrichie.bsky.social · 4d ago

post your worst draft

So I’ve brought back NO DICE! Just yellin it out at every chance. You may not like it, but the World needs ppl like me, just an unassuming hero screamin—NO DICE!

My throat feels like I have swallowed a bag of knives (because I have swallowed a bag of knives). Perfect light summer meal.

angel on one shoulder: it’s time to go to work devil on the other: no stay in bed yoda on my back: get up, crushing me you are

*eating a cottage cheese sandwich* lol who told you bsky isn’t cool all my bsky friends are cool

there I was eating the spring roll, and that's when I realized- oh no, the mint, is it like lettuce? is this going to kill me? did I make it through everything to die of this delicious bite? so anyway I dipped it in the peanut sauce and took another bite

I may not have hit any of the normal markers of adulthood (marriage, property, pets, children) but I have kept a comprehensive list of things I have fallen off of to date (starting with a cliff, ending with a curb), and I think that might be worth some sort of congratulations at least.

me: my band, kyle reese & the sarah connors, is playing a show in front of the slurpee machine at 7-eleven tonight. you should stop by. the cop who’s shoving me in the back of a squad car: can i bring a friend?

bsky suspended gwen pepperoni again and it’s so pathetic. how dare gwen say trans people matter. what controversial thing might gwen have said next, that kittens are adorable? bring gwen back.

Is there a Mr interpreting my post?

My elderly mother is still warning me to beware of "internet hobbits" & also "all of that really creepy A-One stuff," and I corrected her the first few times on how to say it, but then I stopped when I realized I enjoy her and her way of putting things more.

Sorry. *shrug* I would, but on Monday night I dance naked under the worm moon to invoke an ancient curse on anyone who asks if I can do one more thing if I have time.

reminder that your all your bedsheets are potential ghosts

Standing up swaying on the bus with music in my ears and *whispers* Nobody Knows I'm Dancing

I'm pretty laid back unless I hear a phone ring more than once

i made a bluesky diorama and you're all in it. some of you are made from popsicle sticks and the rest are buttons and twine.