Business on Lake Ontario, party on the Gulf of Mexico.

I look at what's going on in the world today and think that if Bill Hicks were still alive he would be very angry that we buried him.

a few suggestions from a Texan: Canada South Pendejada North Mexican Alberta Jackoffistan Midamerican States of Dufus South Canadian Texico Canadexico

Kelly🆘🇺🇸@kimtopher22.bsky.social · 3w ago

Canada and Mexico should create a co-name for the United States because absurdity has no boundaries.

Canada and Mexico should create a co-name for the United States because absurdity has no boundaries.

I haven't been here for a while but Nazis and racists are punchable.

Lord or universe or whatever, forgive me for I have sinned; I argued with idiots on Facebook.

you’re hot but in celsius

Apollo is one year old today 🎉. Here’s my little survivor when I found him at 9 days old and now ❤️

It's not eye contact if your eyes aren't physically touching each other

Can someone please explain to my dogs the pavement is too hot to take a long walk, because the accusatory stares are getting to me.

Celebrating Father's Day bu refusing to ask for directions

Kelly🆘🇺🇸@kimtopher22.bsky.social · 3mo ago

Celebrating Father's Day by leaving the refrigerator door open while I stare inside.

Celebrating Father's Day by leaving the refrigerator door open while I stare inside.

I'm in grad school, I don't have time to be funny rn.

I want someone who looks at me like they just found an extra mozzarella stick

You don't have to answer the door for the Feds. Do not voluntarily talk to the Feds. If they have a warrant signed by an actual judge, then they can do precisely what the warrant says. But DO NOT TALK TO THE FEDS. Do not answer the door. If you're arrested, your only words are "I want a lawyer."

C. Robert Cargill@crobertcargill.bsky.social · 3mo ago

ICE observers in Minneapolis have begun receiving visits from FBI agents sent to intimidate them. A close friend-combat vet, mother, no criminal record-who was a volunteer observer during the ICE crisis, had a visit and was threatened for taking photos and videoed, claiming that filming was illegal.

We’ve got the Onion Newsvan circling the cursed UFC fight outside the White House.

If George Washington were alive today, he'd probably be a vampire and honestly that is the last thing we need right now

This day in history. 2008. World Oceans Day supports the protection and sustainable development of the planet's oceans. It is observed by all United Nations member countries except the United States because the countries won't agree with the change of name from Pacific Ocean to Commotion Ocean.

I'm not a suggested follow.

I hate everyone and everything. I should never leave my house again.

Happy “When is Father’s Day again?” Month

welcome to bluesky. threads isn't real. it can't hurt you here

CBS meetings now

BREAKING! CBSNews is authorized to report that The Faith Tones will headline Freedom 250.

Alvin and Chipmunks agent, Dave, says band never planned to perform at Freedom 250. Simon in rehab, Alvin flattened in tragic Econo Lodge misunderstanding years ago, Theodore busy at hickory nut farm.

I want to go to Peru, Mexico and Kokomo. All cities in Indiana. I work in education, it's the best I can do.

Still can't step on a crack, even though my Mom's been dead ten years.

Lying on the floor because I don't want to disturb my dog on her bed, which is sort of mine too.

I see Jeff Bezos and Elon Musk are now locked in a fierce battle for the previously uncontested title of who can unite the most people across the world in joy at the explosion of a spaceship.