September is the birth month for all the emotionally stunted and insane women. ...Sup.

it’s the little things, like a soft breeze through an open window, birds chirping, and coffee fueled delusions of grandeur

Some crazy person has been downstairs shouting random obscenities for the past hour. Didn't know I was neighbors with one of you.

my brain is never on my side bro just give me a break and be nice for once why dont u

I've been the other man so many times that I have to wonder if anyone has ever liked me for me.

let’s burn that bridge when we get to it

Does anybody on here with a low thyroid have a medication they use to help regulate it? Mine has always sucked and I'm really trying to lose weight. I know it's weird asking for medical shit online but I trust you weirdos more than Google.

Good morning! Don’t forget to share a smile today. But not your cheese. Never share your cheese.

Get the fuck out of my way I have goals to fail

Being able to accept what's been done is a really powerful tool I feel everyone should have. It's truly a liberating feeling not dwelling on things you did in the past. It's over. It happened. But I also have to regularly remind myself to reflect on why those things happened so they don't repeat.

Ew

What doesn’t kill you makes you go on a shopping spree

I hope whoever is in charge of marketing at my job steps on a lego whilst barefoot

what if I cross my heart and don’t hope to die what then

did you even try kissing her beneath the milky twilight, bro?

I keep seeing videos of a guy who catches crabs and lobsters, cracks all the barnacles off them, puts a shrimp in their claws and throws them back. can you imagine. abducted by aliens but they just give you a spa day and hand you two hot dogs and let you go

Maybe don't ask me things if you're not going to like my answer. Idk.

I already regret it

Toes@monotoes.bsky.social · 4d ago

Gonna be the bigger person and apologize to someone that doesn't deserve it because it's not worth the drama. I hate being an adult sometimes.

I yabba dabba don't

Nobody ever asks Scooby Doo "how are you?"

Gonna be the bigger person and apologize to someone that doesn't deserve it because it's not worth the drama. I hate being an adult sometimes.

I deserve m&ms

The universe is trying to be kind to me today but I'm honestly not in the mood for any of it

Perfect weather for ruminating

Sorry for the *terrible things I said *accurate

Yesterday was a mess and a portion of that was my fault and I own that. Today will be better.

🪶

Monday got me like

i cant wait to take off all of these responsibilities

I should call her