I'm really impressed you can still bend over with a stick that far up your ass.
Evie Nyx
@evienyx7.bsky.social
30s something me, the weird aunt who brags about how healing essential oils and prescription pills can be. Shit posting plus the occasional thirst trap when y'all ain't weird about it.
"I am Lord of the Onion Rings!"- I proudly shriek as I devour another basket of onion rings during happy hour.
Don't be too quick to call someone a himbo. Remember, a true himbo is pure of heart and thick of ass.
I love ending incredibly aggressive emails with "Yours in Christ."
Don’t talk to me until my pills kick in. *10 minutes later* I’M A UNICORN!!! Ok, we’re good now.
Running through the forest and screaming "I OWN THIS LAND, I LICKED IT"
Show up on a first date with a pint of this and I will propose to you immediately.
grocery store prices got me fixing peanut butter or jelly sandwiches
(harvey dent voice) you either fall asleep hungry, or you're awake long enough to see yourself become 72% wheat thins by volume
I bet the inventor of the microwave was like "no. Sadder."
Getting a tear drop tattoo on my dick because I've murdered some pussy.
Girl dinner, she whispered as she devoured her own demons
today's my last day working at a summer school program and all the kids were so sweet except for one boy who asked "why do u look so cool but act so lame" and now this question will haunt me to the end of my days fuck u braden
Hmmm, it's Tuesday, if I skip out on this town hall, I can start walking and make it to the ocean by Friday.
[skulls and bones fall for a solid minute after a guest opens a closet door in my house] "And obviously, that's where I keep the skeletons."
Walking into the woods, never to return, for my mental health.
The feminine urge to have a walk in closet full of silk kimonos.
Have you ever met someone so physically attractive it makes your brain hurt?