Ready Salted
@readysalted.bsky.social
I am mostly, if not all, potato.
[Dentist waiting room] Me: I'm here for my outside bones treatment Receptionist: wat Me: please, my outside bones Receptionist: [dialing security] Me: will no one scrape my outside bones
Post something random or you’ll have an awful September
BBQdotgov@bbqdotgov.bsky.social · 3d agoPost something random or you’ll have an awful September
They’re gonna have to poison the pop tarts and potato chips to get to me
🎶You're a mystery bump, You shouldn't be there, I'm normally Blemish free, But now you've cropped up, A rash or a bite? What could you be? Mystery bump, why me? 🎶
On my tombstone please make the epitaph say 'She never told anyone they 'look tired'"
It needs to drop below 65 degrees so I can start dressing like Gonzo in A Muppet Christmas Carol
Do not touch the glass. Do not approach the glass. You pass him nothing but soft paper - no pencils or pens. No staples or paperclips in his paper. Use the sliding food carrier, no exceptions. If he attempts to pass you anything, do not accept it. Do you understand me?
Never judge a book by its cover Covers are all pretty much made out of the same materials Judge it by its title and the photos
Just add the extra shot of espresso. Nothing matters anymore.
Hoodie ✅ Blanket ✅ Window open ✅ Light rain ✅ Hot tea ✅ Fuck yeah.
I don't know man, if watching The Da Vinci Code on repeat has taught me anything, that V on his face is the sacred feminine symbol for Mary Magdalene. Clearly she's Jesus and Mary here is Her ride or die.
much like your posting@mlyp.bsky.social · 4d agoTucked and Cucked
And that goes for all of you who believe in immigration laws, and borders. Fuck you! Deadass!
Post a character from an animated show that reminds you of you!
[Sic] Burns@sicburns2.bsky.social · 4d agoPost a character from an animated show that reminds you of you!
Jennifer Lopez was done so dirty. Jk, it's Fine.
Humor Satire Memes@funnysnarkyjoke.bsky.social · 4d agoYou're all wrong, that's Chandler's whiny girlfriend (Janice)
i love taking a bite of a lil pastry then taking a sip of coffee yum yum yum
If you see this post your getaway vehicle.
Disney Rescuers: Eagle Shrugs
Alt: Marahute, a big white and gold cartoon eagle floofs his neck and head feathers while staring at you with her orange-red eyes. From Rescuers Down Under.
static.klipy.com
Norm@chingerhook.bsky.social · 6d agoIf you see this post your getaway vehicle
Out: everything bagel lattes In: opium spice lattes
Jill Twiss@jilltwiss.bsky.social · 4d agoFinally.
[in the Criterion Closet] Y’all mind if I spark this J?
Listening to an upbeat remix of Black Velvet in this fast food place and can I just say… no thank you please stop
Arya: I found it on lemmy The Hound: what the fuck's a lemmy?
Greg the Miller@gregthemiller.bsky.social · last wk.i don’t like posting other people’s content under my name but i found this mastodon post on lemmy and need to share it on bluesky
okay but where the HELL is my camel milk cortado goddamnit
I feel like Tim Curry would have been very good in both an Alien or a Predator film as literally any character including an Alien or a Predator