Can’t believe they let Sigur Rós name a hurricane.

you're as cuddly as a cactus you're as charming as an eel and i cannot compete with you jolene

This one's worth it, I promise. Listen here or wherever you get great podcasts. open.spotify.com/episode/1pxJ...

From street corners to campsites, the work of Miriam Field, harm reductionist

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This week, This is Nashville examines harm reduction, medication assisted treatment and substance use disorder recovery and loss. Today, Tuesday, 9/9, we speak with experts and those with lived experience about sanctioned harm reduction. Sanctioned harm reduction specifically applies to

Say the alphabet backwards three times in front of a mirror to show candyman he doesn't need to take your keys

At the Mayo Clinic, please, my condiment is very sick

My parents were people of science, which is why my whole family was at the mall every Saturday collecting survey data about people’s acceptance of personal saviors.

Do you think God reads these posts? Or is he mostly on Instagram?

Once again confusing the way things are now with the way things are now for me

Happy Taco Twednesday

I don't often make sequels but when I do I'm curious about what happened when I did

cool ranch (sarcastic)

Host: Let's play Wheel Of Ornithology! Me: Are there any jays? Host: No sorry Me: I'd like to buy an owl

I made you a lint golom from the bits of black t-shirt that get stuck in the sweaty folds gathering rapidly beneath my chin. But what did you ever make me, Kevin? Other than sad, I mean.

Tried to explain what a labubu is to my grandpa and he shot me in the leg

A Taco Bell drive-thru menu stands alone on a barren hill. A crowd gathers. Quiet. Waiting. Some sway & squint, wiping sweat from foreheads & necks. Others, exhausted, sit smiling on dry, patchy grass. A warm voice crackles from the speaker: “The Baja first shall be Baja Blast.”

I’m so glad our sun is too bright to see the baby in it.

My cat got diagnosed with a condition called “megacolon” which requires motility medication, daily laxatives, and occasional enemas. But it’s all worth it if I aggressively mispronounce it “M’Jaclyn” whenever we go to the vet. It’s a lovely name, really.

Brain: Kiss the girl Heart: Kiss the girl Butt: FART AS LOUD AS YOU CAN

You see a helicopter and feel a little jealous because mom said those are little sky diners where obedient children eat pancakes with angels, but now you’re grown and still believe in trading math facts for alley forts and prank calls and imagined best kisses; files full of helicopter recipes.

Me: Everything the light touches is our kingdom The light: [frantically washing its hands] ew! ew! ew! Why is it sticky?!?

do we have a famous pig named squealy dan yet urgent

One day you’re young and fun and the next you’re wearing readers to eat coleslaw.

Running a wild rolling hand down piano keys like a rockabilly landslide at every poor soul just too square to understand the euphemism, rock n roll was code for avalanche