I’ll eat a Spring Roll in the middle of Summer, cuz that’s the kind of badass that I am.
cap’n watsisname
@capnwatsisname.bsky.social
Likes you and other things that are great. Magic bean farmer. Recents: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:efdtjcx67l6vpztu7muhp64s/feed/aaabrbkkoo5lc Best of: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:jiqppb3vymtquebk2yatb4mw/feed/aaaoxwn4kyzv4
Let my tombstone read as follows: It's not that serious
when my grandmother cooked elaborate meals for her dogs we chalked it up to undiagnosed mental illness but if she'd lived another decade she'd be killing it on tiktok rn
Eating clam chowder out of the can with my hand like Winnie the Pooh
[Me trying to one-up Olivia Coleman] Oh him? He’s my husband… Rattan Man
I have this cool new side hustle where I exchange hours of my life for fulfillment.
Doing an emergency load of laundry so I have clean underwear to wear to work tomorrow. AMA
My kids are learning so much from running a lemonade stand, like how ice cream is only for closers.
Just snorted a huge line of birdseed in case anyone’s looking for their birdseed
"If you block me it means I've won" oh right well congratulations then
Ai could never do it like me. My disposition is dark but flecked with dappled sunlight, my flesh is too wretched, my nails too broken on cavern walls. It could try to be something as mortifying and earnest but it would fail.
onf: something (or someone) that's so proportionately both on and off that it can't be either or neither
(Dumping a big box of googly eyes onto the pizza before shoving it into the oven) My grandmother brought this recipe over from the old country
an uber driver wearing sock puppets on both hands that talk to each other about how bad the steering wheel tastes your whole ride
When a remote majesty and the potential for new discovery and danger see you as an adventure, don't just quit your job. Get itchy. Make people lost and call me. I'm a wheeler dealer sayin scat instead of shit
the energy I bring to Bluesky
Alt: Joe Versus the Volcano (1990) - I have no response to that
static.klipy.com
Making time to buy grapes and also eat them.
Heh! I kinda enjoy the moment of confusion when you first get into bed and can’t identify what you’ve forgotten but you KNOW it’s something. It’s your glasses, dummy. You have to take them off. For all the sleeping.
James Carville has returned to his true form: a bayou crocodile animated by Don Bluth
