NO FUCKING WILDFIRES IN OREGON THIS SUMMER. carry a shovel and a bucket of water with you on hikes and if you see somebody with a firecracker hit him with the shovel and drown him in the bucket
Chuck Schumer tweet: if Trump is so serious about getting rid of aliens by any means necessary, why doesn't he release the UFO files? 😜 Gustavo Petro tweet: the souls of Caesar, Tarik, Biohó, and Bolivar visited me and told me to counter-tariff the rabid Yanqui dog.
Spam email calling me the wrong name. Not even my dead name. Just a total stab in the dark name. Put in a little effort, hey?
Super excited for 2 straight weeks of "philly is so fucked up" content
Now it's time for a performance of the Busytown Philharmonic (button accordion and 1950s portable pump organ)
Daily affirmation: I know how to enjoy things in a normal, non obsessive, manner
It's good that there's a 25% tarriff on imported coffee now. This will incentivize people to purchase American coffee, grown in the New Jersey coffee forests
if you had any doubt that LA Sheriffs are overpaid, I just saw one at the Erewhon smoothie bar
pollinating the cucumbers by hand with a paintbrush feels like my Mountain Hag brand reaching a new level
Paranoid Boeing whistleblower looking through his blinds and seeing a 737 that's poorly disguised as a florist's van parked outside his house
Fuck you I’ll never stop sleeping in the intertidal zone
every story about a breakthrough in women’s health is like, previously doctors thought the symptoms were caused by their abnormally small and hysterical brains but researchers have found there is a legitimate medical explanation that has been ignored for 70 years.
![The Handbasket
MARISA KABAS, THE HANDBASKET: So, how did you actually find out that
Kissinger died?
SPENCER ACKERMAN: Oh, my wife came running into the room with her phone out and shaking lit] to show me whatever notification it was.
KABAS: What was your initial reaction?
ACKERMAN: I can finally get paid?
KABAS: Tell me a little bit more about that.
ACKERMAN: When you write an obituary, you don't get paid until the piece runs. So this has been something that I had filed in the middle of 2022, and had not and could not be paid for until Henry Kissinger died. So, some financial reasoning took over in
the moment.](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:ejihld4sywvvqwe67cdkn4jq/bafkreifr6zuewn3ubm2inx2ihdtxkmx2lz2xpdntqd3ucyjjotqwafbasa)
*seeing a tall, willowy babe wearing a blue tarp belted with an extension cord* and I bet it would look basically the same on me, also
Prompt: “I need a cool thing for a person at the edge of sanity to do” ChatGPT: eat a parfait cup with sour cream instead of yogurt
The blessings will continue until your whole world is blackened smoking glass
Man who once plummeted 16 feet through announcer's table can no longer bare one more single second of the horrors on Twitter.
Parents separating their kids to increase the odds one survives. Writing their names on their skin in case they are orphaned. In the ER, “they are given a designation—‘Unknown Trauma Child’...some of them are the sole survivors of their family, so no one ever comes.” www.nytimes.com/2023/11/18/w...
The War Turns Gaza Into a ‘Graveyard’ for Children
Thousands of children have been killed in the enclave since the Israeli assault began, officials in Gaza say. The Israeli military says it takes “all feasible precautions” to avoid civilian deaths...
nytimes.com
An MSF convoy trying to evacuate our staff and their families was attacked in North Gaza today. One person was killed, another injured. This is absolutely unacceptable and horrific. We condemn this in the strongest terms. Ceasefire now. www.msf.org/gaza-msf-con...
Gaza: MSF condemns deliberate attack on a convoy transporting staff, resulting in one death and one ...
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msf.org
There is just no getting around this bit from the latest Chotiner interview. Doctors Without Borders has never seen this before: the number of civilian casualties, the inescapability of death, the fact that everyone knows what is happening BUT IT DOESN'T STOP.
