Teach a man to fish and he’ll get drunk on a boat for one day. Feed a man to a fish and you’ll have a cool story for the rest of your life

Ate a weed gummy to help me sleep Woke up an hour later from the munchies

Give a man a fish Then brandish another fish at him En garde, motherfucker!

Avatar: a Song of Smurfs and Fire

fuck Flock

Dave Nelson 🇨🇦@davenlsn.bsky.social · yesterday

Roseville, California, ran its own analysis of the Flock cameras, studying nearly 1,500 Flock reports. They found an a 71% failure rate, where the cameras would mistake one license plate number for another. They've also been known to pick up private home conversations. www.cnet.com/home/securit...

cool souvenir from dentist today

Okay, I am going to tell a little story. It's one I have saved for the last couple years, almost nobody knows about it. But it lives in my heart. I don't know how others will feel about it, maybe something, maybe nothing. It's about the Uncanny X-Men. 1/

🌜 <You are here> NYC

Star Trek: Dumb New Worlds

I should go to Wendy's for lunch and sit there to do my blue sky stuff... every reply, "this is a Wendy's"

😂 Clever kitty

in portland someone spray painted penises around potholes, and they got filled pretty immediately www.oregonlive.com/portland/202...

A crude pothole graffiti tactic got Portland’s attention. Please don’t copy it, officials say

Nearby apartment dwellers had a bird's eye view of the graphic murals.

oregonlive.com

You must chill I have hidden your Firebird keys CHILL!

It would be a shame if catalytic converter thieves started to steal and strip flock cameras of whatever valuable materials are inside.

@emceekayvee.bsky.social your recent 'show us your war face' selfie was just what this needed

you can’t have good faith discussions with people who have no good faith

kinda wish there was a 37-minute super-extended version of Eleanor Rigby

I am no longer a young dude, therefore, my contractural obligation to carry the news has hereby ended

If you're looking for the clown, he's two storm drains over

Sara Lee is the Mayor of Pound Town

Faith—@ohfaith.bsky.social · 6d ago

The only pound town I’ll be going to is a little village made entirely of pound cake.

Revenge is a dish best served with Taylor Farms lettuce.

If a thing is worth doing, it's worth doing badly. Applies equally well to housework and first drafts.

Most rural areas have a ruling class. And they want cheap unfree workers & to pass their fiefdoms on tax-free forever. It ain't rocket science. The fact that we're scared to talk about THAT, ime, is what's costing us a lot of rural voters!

Thor’s hammer, screwdriver, and crescent wrench

Today's tshirt

it's interesting bc for some it's arrogance, for some it's conviction or faith, for some it's a trust in those who taught them, but in each of those the fundamental thing is a refusal to accept anything outside of the parameters they've decided are absolute

If the actor with British accent is evil then you’re watching Sci fi. If the actor with a British accent is good then it’s Fantasy. If the actor with a British accent knocks something over then it’s a Rom com.

If you destroy books, especially rare books, you are bad.

Stages of trying to sleep: I can get 8 hours I can still get 7 hours I can still get 6 hours I can still get 5 hours I can still get 4 hours I can still get 3 hours I can still get 2 hours I can still get 1 hour *falls asleep for 5 minutes* *alarm goes off *