Kim
@kimroper.bsky.social
Wood dragon. Documentation wonk. Not looking for romance. Not following your OnlyFans (but not judging you). 🇨🇦
me to the person sitting next to me on the bus: “u know…hemry the local bartender on blue sky…the one whose parrot likes campbells tomato soup”
Hemry, Local Bartender@bartenderhemry.bsky.social · 2d agoour parrot has decided he loves campbells tomato soup. since he can only drink like, a shotglass full of it, we always have a bowl (minus one shot) of tomato soup leftover. because of this i have perfected my grilled cheese procedure:
learning how to use a sphygmomanometer correctly puts a lot of pressure on a person . folks,,,
[Kellogg marketing meeting, 1955] Boss: Who has a name for our boring new cereal? Employee: How about “K”? Boss: Hmm. Not special enough. Employee: Alright, hear me out…
ELON MUSK: [speaking into watch] what should i say to mark zuckerberg WATCH: hello mark zuckerberg ELON MUSK: no no I’M not mark zuckerberg, i’m elon MARK ZUCKERBERG: [to watch] hello
Bibi is doing great work making things for the disabled. So much that is sold to the disabled is ugly, industrial or looks like it would be used by your great grandmother. Her stuff is cute, cool and functional. Check her out!
🌸Bibi🌸♿@bibiblossoms.bsky.social · last wk.It costs 0$ to Repost a Black disabled queer small business! It could lead to my next sale. My convertible bags can be worn as a backpack, crossbody bag, waist bag or on a mobility aid! They have custom lining & zipper pulls. They're on pre-order right now! Store: Bibipins.com
The Muse mascot annoys me. It's like someone defanged a Labubu and soaked it in bleach. I want to put it in the microwave to see if it blows up like a Peep.
Anyone else notice that Bert is autistic and Ernie has ADHD, and they are completely devoted to each other but they annoy the neurotypicals? I want to see a Bernie fusion. If Steven Universe can do it, so can Sesame Street.
This is how I remember the order of Henry VIII’s wives.
Dan of the Year@downwithdan.bsky.social · 2w agoAh yes the circle of life
“it’s bad luck to toast with an empty glass” i say, filling mine with lasagna
I always think "I'll respond to that when my nervous system calms down" but then it never calms down and now I'm a month late RSVPing to your wedding, my bad
John Wiswell@wiswell.bsky.social · 2w agoSorry, I saw your message, but I also saw nineteen other phone alerts that same minute. My brain evolved to evade predators. I will not improve.
teenage mutant nin ja turtles are not such a good haiku topic
Image from tonight's stupid walk for my stupid health. No deer tonight, but the sky was pretty.
Embarrassed scientists reveal alien radio signal was actually meant for a planet behind us
Embarrassed scientists reveal alien radio signal was actually meant for a planet behind us
Mountain View, CA—Astronomers at the SETI Institute have confirmed that a radio signal originated from an advanced alien civilization, but was intended for a different planet behind Earth.
thebeaverton.com
rebranding cheese as HARD MILK
Bibi got my new favorite backpack to me at a great bang for my buck ratio. Y'all go support her!!!
🌸Bibi🌸♿@bibiblossoms.bsky.social · 2w agoIt costs 0$ to Repost a Black disabled queer small business! It could lead to my next sale. I sell pins, compression gloves, artist gloves, back braces, knee braces, wrist braces, compression socks, cute bags & more! Store: Bibipins.com
We bought my most recent binder (the strawberry zipper binder) from Bibi's shop and it's the best one I have ever had! We plan to buy more compression items soon, definitely go check out their stuff!
🌸Bibi🌸♿@bibiblossoms.bsky.social · 2w agoIt costs 0$ to Repost a Black disabled queer small business! It could lead to my next sale. I sell pins, compression gloves, artist gloves, back braces, knee braces, wrist braces, compression socks, cute bags & more! Store: Bibipins.com
This is the maker I bought my compression gloves from and I love them!
🌸Bibi🌸♿@bibiblossoms.bsky.social · 2w agoIt costs 0$ to Repost a Black disabled queer small business! It could lead to my next sale. I sell pins, compression gloves, artist gloves, back braces, knee braces, wrist braces, compression socks, cute bags & more! Store: Bibipins.com
I love when fantasy series have a dude called something like Stephen the All-Seeing, Keeper of the Demon Sword, hero of the Volcano Age. But in some tiny village, he's known as Bees Steve, that weird guy who loves beekeeping. The more uppercase titles the legend has, the funnier the contrast is.
Air to Ground Message: ANY SHOT OF A CLOSER GATE TO CUSTOMS WE ALL HAVE TIGHT COMMUTE CONNX Area: Seguin, TX, USA Type: Embraer 175 (Enhanced Wing) A: #ad34eb37ff8 F: #ff938cce8bd
Idk how i got onto to this, but my favourite genre of internet post is germans surprised about the maritimes. right in my veins
Lots of people have asked me about doing arm compression sleeves and here they are! They are now available for pre-order and will only be made if enough people pre-order them! They come in 3 sizes. Store: Bibipins.com
Your screams into the void may be recorded for service quality and training purposes.
