What celebrity was born on the exact same day as you including the year? I’ll go first… Eminem
Drew
@dmc1138.bsky.social
I don’t have time for this. Gen Xer in Florida. Same username across the multiverse. My journey thus far: Pittsburgh to Orlando to Honolulu to Chicago to Delray Beach. 99% of these are recycled tweets.
It's not that I have a lazy eye, it's just that my other eye is an overachiever.
I fix things around the house with duct tape and hope. It holds… long enough to forget.
Depressing thinking that if Back to the Future were made today the DeLorean would be a Cybertruck and Marty would perform You Were Meant for Me by Jewel.
Maybe the real Odyssey is the friends Matt Damon made along the way.
Everyone: *desperate for a hero* Oddly Shaped Raccoon: Hi Everyone: *loses their fucking minds*
spaghetti, for when you want your food to gently spank your face
At my age, “living dangerously” means eating a taco after 10 PM and not pre-gaming with antacids.
Check on your friends. Whoever was at this gas pump before me pumped $0.34
there’s no way this is the same brain i used to remember phone numbers with
Sex Journal, Day 1849: Finished another jigsaw puzzle.
Pinterest now has more monthly users than Twitter. I love this for Elon.
Buying razors at Walgreens is harder than buying drugs at the gas station
who do we want? the funk soul brother when do we want him? right about now
Maybe the real Odyssey is the friends Matt Damon made along the way.
My neurosurgeon passed away, but no worries, his sister will be taking over to perform my operation!
Jimothy is out there trying and living his life. What’s your excuse?
Jimothy is out there trying and living his life. What’s your excuse?
To be honest, I didn’t even realize lettuce was one of Taco Bell’s ingredients.
It's not that I have a lazy eye, it's just that my other eye is an overachiever.
The CDC recommends wearing your old COVID mask over your butt like a thong to protect you from cyclosporiasis.