When your kid misspells "school" on the fridge calendar, you know it's time.
tera-cotta
@notincharge7.bsky.social
it was just a joke Some Skeets: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:jiqppb3vymtquebk2yatb4mw/feed/aaajtkgvisqbu
Me: Can I have a gin and tonic? Them: Sir, this is an elementary school party. Me: Fine. MAY I have a gin and tonic?
In my dream I told someone "at this point in your life you love every food in the grocery store just enjoy it" and I woke up thinking I came up with some Chinese proverb shit
<five miles down the road> “Wait-are all the kids in the car?”
My 8yo daughter insulting my 14yo son: "If you ever forget what Mom looks like and she's not home, just look in the mirror."
This is my 22nd year teaching. I teach at a very small rural school in Missouri. I am so grateful for any help clearing my list. www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/...
Check out my list on Amazon
amazon.com
ME: I'm thinking of planting a patch of the garden with wildflowers WIFE: That would be lovely. All the different colo ME: Calling it Air Bee n Bee HER: Get out
🚨New grade, new school, new district!🚨 moving from elementary to middle school and need some items for my new 6th grade science classroom! Games, art supplies, organization tools, and items for hands-on labs! www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/...
This is my 22nd year teaching. I teach at a very small rural school in Missouri. I am so grateful for any help clearing my list. www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/...
Check out my list on Amazon
amazon.com
no one: 14yo: Remember that day we got an extra mcgriddle in the bag? That was the best day.
My 8yo daughter insulting my 14yo son: "If you ever forget what Mom looks like and she's not home, just look in the mirror."
the ubiquity of home security cameras makes the realistic possibility of a toy story less and less likely
The mosquitoes have taken enough of my blood that I’m expecting a Father’s Day card from them.
If you don’t invite your buddy Randy to cookouts anymore, does that make him your ex grill friend?
how annoyed do you think dermatologists would be if we all started calling them skintenders?
*getting an oil change because they vacuum the car for me
POV: wearing the same bra for three days bc I've already packed the good ones for the trip
It's 60° and raining... my daughter: Can I go to the pool?
*last day of school me: "Oh you look beautiful today! I love your sparkly dress!" 1st grader: "Yeah, I overdid it."
no one: 14yo: Remember that day we got an extra mcgriddle in the bag? That was the best day.
If one more student calls me "bruh" I'll probably be put on administrative leave.
As above (I rubbed my eye after cutting jalapeños) so below (I was peeing with the other hand)
When Dad drops a pea off of his plate, he says, 'Oh dear, I've pee'd on the table!'
if you have fingers, you, too, can make a haiku you’ll need seventeen
My work computer told me "the trust between this workspace and the domain has failed" and so I guess now I'm a traitor.