a backrooms sequel but it’s just me in every room eating soup

No, I will not “get to the point.” Every conversation with me is a journey that takes as long as it takes. Now get in the trunk and let’s go.

When my brother and I were kids, we were at the store with our mom and we were being silly, and in a dramatic voice I said, “It’s time to go. The party’s over.” And there was an old man in front of us who turned quickly and stared and I think it’s because he thought he was hearing the Grim Reaper.

Phil Lewis@phillewis.bsky.social · 7h ago

Man arrested after dressing as Grim Reaper on hospital roof and staring at patients

well, reality, maybe if you were a little nicer, everyone wouldn't be avoiding you.

little house on the prairie 2: laura’s revenge

today's my last day working at a summer school program and all the kids were so sweet except for one boy who asked "why do u look so cool but act so lame" and now this question will haunt me to the end of my days fuck u braden

Using lists of three is not an "AI tell." It's a common trait in human writing because our brains biologically want to make sure there's always one thing to marry, one thing to fuck, and one thing to murder.

(guy who owns a vacation house voice) It’s not even that cool. It’s pretty small. The air conditioning doesn’t work that well. I’d rather stay in a hotel, honestly, but what are you going to do. It’s more trouble than it’s worth. A metaphorical albatross around my neck. We go about 100 days a year

[in the mosh pit] CAN EVERYONE STOP MOVING AROUND FOR A SECOND I DROPPED MY SHRIMP COCKTAIL

Well now I gotta share the terrific animated version. youtu.be/4oxP3TyuQx0?...

Будет ласковый дождь / There Will Come Soft Rains (1984) [Eng CC]

YouTube video by Алекс Кэрролл

youtu.be

Today is the only day you can experience Ray Bradbury’s “There Will Come Soft Rains” on the day it is set. Audio: archive.org/details/brad... PDF: thephilosopher.net/bredberi/wp-...

I like those visualizations of geological time that show you e.g. the history of the earth as one calendar year. So I made a visualization of the relative times of languages I work on using one bookshelf. The books you see are listed with links at the youtube post ( m.youtube.com/shorts/7RnQh... ).

A label has been created for your package Your package has shipped Your package is out for delivery Your package is never going to feel as good as smoking cigarettes did when you were 26, almost 27, when you still felt invincible Your package attempted delivery but no one was there to sign for it

Wild to remember that this is what we used to consider busy.

The wildest part is that it took me a split second after reading this quote to know it was a joke.

Hoodlum 🇺🇸@nothoodlum.bsky.social · 2d ago

Jeanine Pirro: “Even when Trump fires me, I’ll be fine. Fox still has my parking spot and my boxes of wine.”

love potion #10 causes the user to fall under the spell of raccoons

What would we no longer have if fireworks were banned? Terrified pets, yet more pointless plastic released into the environment, antisocial moronic noise. Call me crazy but I reckon we can just about cope with that kind of loss, as a species.

Bordeaux, France, has now recorded more days above 40°C in 2026 alone than during the entire 105-year period from 1920 (when observations began) to 2025. This is deeply shocking.

Sunset reflections …

It’s actually called Amp David now because that’s where they hook-up Trump, Frankenstein style, to a table and turn on the juice that’s keeping him alive.

PatriotTakes 🇺🇸@patriottakes.bsky.social · 3d ago

JD Vance ruined the Camp David group photo by blocking the “C”

I have transferred all my Titanic tweets from Twitter. They’re syncing

I had a pencil joke but I need to sharpen it.

🅿️rofessor Kiosk 💊@professorkiosk.wtf · 6d ago

I had a breadmaker joke but it just didn't rise to the occasion

I had a breadmaker joke but it just didn't rise to the occasion

I never cared to know where all the cowboys went.

Schrodinger's fucking strait

Are you there, God? It's me, the guy who makes creepy Judy Blume references

I'm excited to finally announce that the website my friend and I made, rentagainstthemachine.com, is ready for beta testing! registered users can anonymously rate and review their landlords, while anyone can read reviews that have been posted

Babe this stool softener tastes like we about to fuuuk (in 12-24 hrs)

It’s a beautiful day to slather on some sunscreen and drink a lot of water

I’m feeling uncharacteristically upbeat so after I filled my weekly medicine sorter, I shook my pill bottles like maracas to the beat of the music in my earbuds.