This day in history. 1981. Ronald Reagan fired all the air traffic controllers but you can't blame him for destroying the American middle class because his wife's astrologer made him do it.
DrunkAss
@maxhyde.bsky.social
🇨🇦Inconvenient, unconventional fucking shitshow Pieces of Ass:: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:2tvktomngcsqeilk2nv6rkpc/feed/aaalqek5hxq6w New shit from Ass:: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:2tvktomngcsqeilk2nv6rkpc/feed/aaaebh7vouzfi
bought several decorative soaps yesterday, and I feel like a new person
printing out your skeets and crumpling them into a ball for a three-pointer.
AI is great. What used to take 5 minutes to resolve an issue with one knowledgeable individual now takes 4 days, 6 hours, and 32 minutes.
My love of this parking garage is almost making the cubicle worth it.
Just realized I never killed my dog’s old master. Will he still listen to me?
I’m currently watching my husband fold laundry and I’m trying not to tell him that he’s doing it wrong because I don’t want to sound ungrateful but omfggivemethatfuckingtowel
Let my tombstone read as follows: It's not that serious
only the smartest 1% of intellectual nerds will get this: 80085
Eating clam chowder out of the can with my hand like Winnie the Pooh
Give a man a fish and he’ll eat it, but teach a man to fish and he will be gone for long stretches of time so you can finally get some peace!
My Millard (Zorinsky) area coworker just told another cw she went to the new library & "the parking lot was hard to find" (?! you CAN'T miss it) and "that area is sketch". She knows I live over there. Took everything in me to not say I hope she never has to go east of 132nd again, it's too scary.
(National Espionage Agency) interviewer: so what makes you think you’d be a good spy? Wally:
I once saw a video of a raccoon making a whole pizza and was so focused on figuring out if he was wearing regular glasses or Meta glasses that it didn’t hit me for a full minute that the raccoon was AI. I don’t know if I’m gonna survive the AI wars, you guys
me: “look at this” (trying to put my bangs in place as they keep flipping up and apart) friend: “is there some sort of repellant on your massive forehead?”
I'm disappointed because I care, so may as well talk about it 😤 Link to my 5 minute short film here for a limited time: youtu.be/OnVvmfgo2yI?...
Welcome to middle age. You now have a special space between your teeth that can fit an entire meal
The ghost of my dead plant watching me go to Lowe's gardening section
[Me trying to one-up Olivia Coleman] Oh him? He’s my husband… Rattan Man