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Path 🎉@demandavoider.bsky.social · yesterday

guys will literally spend years navigating the united states health care system, confused by the process of finding and paying for regular visits to a mental health professional instead of going to therapy

"what will be my autistic interest of the month" "SPIN.....THAT.......WHEEL!!!"

Legalize twerking!

Guys will listen to male influencer bullshit about needing to have a six pack and manipulate everyone and meanwhile women will go “you know who is the sexiest fucking guy I’ve ever seen?” and post this

Bomb pops are the superior popsicle. I will not entertain any dissent.

I wish Andre the Giant was a time traveler and would check in on us every now and then

Making Brad Dourif my emergency medical contact, Brad Dourif will make sure I'm taken care of

In heaven you can punch anyone you want in the face

When white people do ayahuasca their trip should have ads

whenever i know i’m going to have an x-ray, i use a sharpie and write some cuss words on my bones

first date was going really well until, for some unknown reason, i said “correctamundo” out of freaking nowhere

“everybody was kung-fu fighting” oh? even a little baby? a little baby with no muscle strength was kicking and punching and flying around? a tiny little flying kung-fu baby? get out of my face

Ran out of Febreeze so I'm filling up a spray bottle with hot dog water and hoping for the best.

heyyy my gf and i read your post and we were wondering why you didn't consider shutting the fuck up

As an "Extremely Busy Person" I don't so much "go to sleep", I "pass out".

I can't believe I spent my childhood riding around on an acoustic bike.

the best thing about eating grape-nuts is that you can physically feel it building a dam inside and blocking out all happiness

asking jake from state farm if he thinks god is dead

bsky suspended gwen pepperoni again and it’s so pathetic. how dare gwen say trans people matter. what controversial thing might gwen have said next, that kittens are adorable? bring gwen back.

what if we kissed in the ambient glow of the heat lamps warming the costco rotisserie chickens

I’m sorry I got cheeto dust inside the casket at your grandma’s funeral

[in the mosh pit] CAN EVERYONE STOP MOVING AROUND FOR A SECOND I DROPPED MY SHRIMP COCKTAIL

reminder that your all your bedsheets are potential ghosts

if mc escher saw my tan lines i would be his muse

ever notice how when you're away on holiday all your unused screen time gets converted into calories

Standing up swaying on the bus with music in my ears and *whispers* Nobody Knows I'm Dancing

back in my day, beans used to be a lot cooler