My dog picking his bedtime stuffie out of the toy bin every night is everything to me.
Splendid Hobo
@splendidhobo.bsky.social
A bindle full of blues Recent stuff: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:7mscho63unxwu7n5s5ebgmuj/feed/aaalvnyuvqcu2 Some people liked these: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:7mscho63unxwu7n5s5ebgmuj/feed/aaakoiexih2cc
its cute that we all just wander about and no one knows why we exist
Open casket funeral? I don’t even want people looking at me when I’m alive
not gay, not straight, but a secret third thing (want Hayley Williams to step on my neck)
Sorry I haven’t been reskeeting as much lately I have recently learned how to read
[pushing buttons on the hadron collider tour] What do these do
My skeets are funnier if you have something wrong with you
Sometimes you spin the lazy susan and it comes up olives
Is it intestinal issues or just impatience when you can’t wait for the soft-closing toilet seat to land
Nothing says mid-forties like getting insanely excited to register for a sourdough workshop.
you want me to be well informed but you also want me to not act insane so you see the conundrum right
I came into this world screaming and I still haven't stopped.
“sorry I’m here late…” - oh, you’re not late, party’s just getting started! “…r I’m going to duck out while no one’s watching”
Mom used to open a drink in the store before she paid for it and I thought child services was about to take me
Asking GPS for shortest route over one of those Wile E. Coyote cliffs
If I grow man boobs it’ll be due to all the estrogen I’ve eaten
I’ve had an original Darth Vader action figure up my ass since 1977.
I am not officially part of the orchestra, but that’s not gonna stop me from playing this goddam trumpet.
“can we table that idea for now?” i dunno gary can we refrigerator your face for a few hours
i’d offer a handshake but Righty here’s my sinnin’ hand
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