Me: [making impt life decision] what should I do Wife: just listen to your gut Me: ok Gut: let’s get nachos Me: BYE WE’RE GOING OUT FOR NACHOS Wife: wtf just happened
Discount Storytime
@discountstorytime.com
The "Discount Storytime" podcast provides weekly absurd short stories to make you laugh. Enjoy!
Dear Seattle, You occasionally frustrate me immensely, but then you do something that reminds me why I like you. “A property tax levy to fund the Seattle's public library system over the next seven years has passed with overwhelming support - nearly 3 out of 4 voters supported it.” 😍📚
I wish my doctor would randomly hand me treats during an appointment like the vet does for my dogs. I feel like it would help.
Nobody sees the 5am runs. Nobody sees me choosing a salad over fries. Nobody sees me doing yoga in a peaceful sunlit room. Because I don't do any of that shit…. 💪🏼😉
She thought she could call wrestler Matt Cage the N word *twice* without consequence. Check the alt text for details. www.instagram.com/reel/DbgLPLH...
It’s easy to judge others. That’s what I like about it. So darn easy.
No amateur sports program is worth sexually abusing children to prove their gender
@stephruhle.bsky.social had a video about RFKJr’s cooking show and food affordability. Please pass along that Iowa State University has a great online resource for healthy cooking on a limited budget. spendsmart.extension.iastate.edu
Home - Spend Smart Eat Smart
Feed your family nutritious meals for less money! Recipes and ideas to help you eat healthy, save money, and stretch your food budget.
spendsmart.extension.iastate.edu
Remember, if you see someone stealing copper from a data center, no you didn't. youtu.be/xCzkSyAAf4M?...
Suspects steal $100K in copper from data center site
YouTube video by FOX 5 Washington DC
youtu.be
“Are you okay, ma’am?” “I think I swallowed my router.” “Here, take my seat.”
Barista: can I get a name for the order? Me: yum yum coffee bevo Barista: no, I meant your name Me [pulling out driver's license]: my parents were caffeine addicts
“These strange, balloon-like anomalies have captivated the public imagination for decades,” chief Pentagon spokesperson Sean Parnell said of the unusually bulbous vessels officially known as Unidentified Floating Objects but colloquially referred to as “blimps” or “flying sausages.”
Pentagon Declassifies Files On Blimps
ARLINGTON, VA—In what may be the largest-ever disclosure of government data concerning the mysterious aerial phenomena, Pentagon officials announced Wednesday they had begun releasing a trove of forme...
theonion.com
A sweet little girl with autism brought her stuffed puppy to the dog show. One of the judges noticed her, came over, and asked if she’d like to show her dog too. What followed was pure magic. Original post
The older I get the more I understand why cats just walk away mid conversation.
give a man a fish and he'll probably eat it i don't know what else he would do it's one fish bro let it go
DARTH VADER: I am your father LUKE: I’m not sure I believe you DARTH VADER: hi not sure I believe you, I’m Darth Vader LUKE: daddy?
I keep hearing about this mysterious land called “IRL.” Sounds terrifying.
What I lack in clarity of mind I make up for in something something whatever
Wish I had the confidence of a Dorito bag claiming to only have 4 servings