Why do I have to be such a whore for carbs? So many carbs. Too many carbs! Carbs.

Downplay a book or movie: GODZILLA: MINUS 2.0

Tippi Hedren Collider@linanneblack.bsky.social · 3d ago

Downplay a book or a movie: The Sound and the Bother

What the heck? Asking for a friend

little house on the prairie 2: laura’s revenge

[murderer while in the middle of murdering me] did you just call timeout

You’re it for me. Best chance. Only chance. The void: 🤷🏻‍♀️

GIVE THE MAN A FISH AND MAKE HIM GO AWAY ALREADY I HAVE OTHER SHIT TO BE DOING RIGHT NOW.

"Get out of your comfort zone". Bold of you to assume I have ever been comfortable in my life.

“Son of A Preacher Man” is a good soundtrack for life. Driving along a lonesome highway? Son of a preacher man. Eating a wheel of cheese? Son of a preacher man. Having sex with a guy named Billy Ray? Son of a motherfucking preacher man

I should probably post something hilarious here and get a ton of likes.

I’m noticing a suspicious lack of people taking to the streets declaring that they’re Peppers

come a little closer huh, a-will you huh. close enough to wail 'bout who died Llorona keep a little mystery, you're scaring me. drowning kids to haunt the lake side Llorona.

“A real friend would be more supportive” I whined resentfully to my imaginary friend.

Stop calling me an amateur. I've been doing this for decades. I'm incompetent.

reminder that your all your bedsheets are potential ghosts

In the interest of full disclosure, be advised that there is a large amount of goose p00page all over the parking lot.

Funny how a lot of foodstuffs that taste good? Guess what - They're not healthy. That is some bullshit right there. I'm gonna write a sternly worded letter.

I love how they named those little mints Andes after the mountains where plane crash survivors ate their dead to stay alive. So cute!

“What’s a beautiful girl like you doing in a dump like this,” I ask, motioning to the entire country

maniacal laughter for maniacal circumstances doesn't feel like the best medicine, and that's why I take Prescription Drugs™️

my grandma has a secret tuna casserole recipe that involves a consultation with an elvis impersonator.

Welcome to middle age. You now have a special space between your teeth that can fit an entire meal

Hi! Pedantic asshole here. It's Spider-Man. There's a hyphen. Yeah it's annoying. But there it is.

Sundays, amirite?

Sorry to be controversial on main, but I prefer the Cradle of Filth cover of ALISON HELL to the Annihilator original. I know.

All I'm saying is that Opeth's Mikael Åkerfeldt has a beautiful voice when doing clean vocals.

🎶 We can go pantsless if we want to, we can leave our pants behind. Because your friends wear pants & if they wear pants then they're no friends of mine. 🎶

My relationship with my new dog is a work in progress. We're still getting to know each other. Today I learned two things: My dog is more than willing to run out in front of a truck to chase a napkin blowing on the wind. Also, my dog might bark at the TV if he hears bagpipes.

If LIGHTNING CRASHES is on the radio but the placenta already fell to the floor, I'm moving on.

Ladies and gentlemen, $30.