When I was a teen, my friend and I wanted to see how many times we could go around a roundabout before the cops pulled us over. The answer is 16
DoubleTrouble
@badboybill69.bsky.social
"Eat, skeet, sleep, repeat" I did this 👇 https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:sdkxyw2r7xlx5kjhsolgagv6/feed/aaaljlnins5tg
🎶 Carry on my wayward Falcon You'll be in pieces when you are done Lay your weary head to rest Don't you fly no more
Sky News@news.sky.com · 15h agoSpaceX latest: Abandoned rocket about to slam into moon at high speed
I’ll eat a Spring Roll in the middle of Summer, cuz that’s the kind of badass that I am.
Some ants got into the 5 mg gummy I accidentally left out and I just wanna wish them godspeed
Hear me out... A video game where you can go rent movies at Blockbuster. But we gotta come up with a way to replicate the scent and have it sprayed on you periodically for authenticity's sake
can't this weekend I'm getting my video dromed
live your life so you're in your mid-40s crying while listening to Iron Man
grocery store prices got me fixing peanut butter or jelly sandwiches
[Arby's drive-thru] (muffled voice from deep inside Trojan horse): ask for extra horsey sauce
You make one suggestion about buying a couple of hookers for the 21 year old D&D virgins that work for you, and suddenly your the “worst boss ever” and everyone’s clutching their pearls. I don’t even know what reality I’m living in anymore.
Give a man a fish ...and he'll dine out on the story of how someone once randomly gave him a fish for the rest of his life
Gen Un-Seasoned@gensibayan.bsky.social · yesterdayGive a man a fish and he'll say "umm... this is a fish...? why have you given me a fish?"
Interviewer: list five words that describe your character Me: I'll just see myself out
notdaredevil@skeptyk.bsky.social · last wk.Interviewer: list five words that describe your character Me: I'll just write indecisive. Wait!
Film you've watched more than six times with a gif. Hard mode: no Star Trek, Star Wars. LOTR, Marvel, Disney, or Ghibli.
Listen Listen Up
Alt: Ash with his shotgun addressing the primitive screwheads.
static.klipy.com
Jim@jimstewart.bsky.social · 6d agoFilm you've watched more than six times with a gif. Hard mode: no Star Trek, Star Wars, LOTR, Marvel, Disney, or Ghibli.
Post a perfect album from the 90s that isn't nirvana, soundgarden, pearl jam, or alice in chains.
Phyll Indablank@phyllindablank.bsky.social · last wk.Post a perfect album from the 90s that isn't Nirvana, Soundgarden, Pearl Jam, or Alice in Chains.
Who decided to call it a “one night stand” and not a “stranger with benefits”
Who is this Jamaican jerk I keep hearing about? And why such a dick?
Does anyone know where my child is? Turns out she can be neither seen nor heard. (I tried)
KnewNic🖕🏼🧊@knewagirlnic.bsky.social · 5d agoDid anyone see my needle in a haystack joke?
Why is it called a sausage fest when penal colony is right there?
(following behind a 4Runner doing 10 MPH under the speed limit) Me: More like 4Walker. Nobody: Me: Still got it.
IMO if social media had a smell, it would be the smell of stale beer and burnt popcorn.
You see, kids, back when fucks were given, their value was appreciated at a premium, but they’ve been devalued so much on an international scale over the last few decades that no one gives them any more. It’s called Macrofuckenomics.