Summer 25 vs summer 26 🐣

All I'm saying is there are no donut parasites

What if after you came your boner would shed like a snake skin leaving the original flaccid penis

there I was eating the spring roll, and that's when I realized- oh no, the mint, is it like lettuce? is this going to kill me? did I make it through everything to die of this delicious bite? so anyway I dipped it in the peanut sauce and took another bite

*eating a cottage cheese sandwich* lol who told you bsky isn’t cool all my bsky friends are cool

I’m not religious but I do believe in signs from the universe

GIVE THE MAN A FISH AND MAKE HIM GO AWAY ALREADY I HAVE OTHER SHIT TO BE DOING RIGHT NOW.

When I used to hump the wicker chair in my bedroom I didn’t realize it was foreshadowing.

I'm a workaholic. Can't get enough of that sweet, sweet workahol.

What the heck? Asking for a friend

I’m tired of all these limitations I say as I shed my skin and transform into a supernova

i made a bluesky diorama and you're all in it. some of you are made from popsicle sticks and the rest are buttons and twine.

sk me 🤝🏽 farting

I'm pretty laid back unless I hear a phone ring more than once

When I began to worship money, God destroyed my air conditioner. Now I am back on the righteous path. 🙏

I am sooo hydrated

im going into denial, anyone need anything?

[public enemy hype voice] bring the cheese

a friend asked me to sniff a baby bottle of his wife's breast milk to see if I thought it still smelled ok for their baby drink and it's probably the most intimate thing I've ever done with another person

i love thinking of jokes and then finding out someone else did it 87 years ago in an AOL chatroom

a forehead kiss isn’t enough i want him to swallow my whole head

Scientists confirm the human body is 70% water, 30% unopened emails.

Life is short, eat the snacks. Tummy aches pass but a fat ass is forever.

i keep trying to touch grass but somehow always end up here on bsky dot app

doesn’t crime go down when most people are generally having their basic needs met, or something like that

ask not for whom the cheese rolls it rolls for me

It should be acceptable for me to be lazy and useless to society if that’s what my heart desires

I need a TV that can tell me if I've seen this show before and maybe also if I have food on my face