I feel like I’m living In a dystopian novel written in 1993 that was rejected by dozens of publishers because it was incredibly stupid.

i now genuinely consider this movie optimistic

Brian Honan@brianhonan.bsky.social · yesterday

Happy Skynet day to all those who celebrate

its funny how rayban took a brand whose single biggest association was "cool" and changed it to "pervert"

gonna need whoever is doing chuck grassley's social media to familiarize themselves with the house style

Parker Molloy@parkermolloy.com · 19h ago

Okay, grandpa, let's get you to bed

this isn't meant to last this is for right now this isn't meant to last this is for right now

If you think time has lost all meaning, wait until you learn about words.

They should do Vacation Bible School for other books, too. Vacation The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo School, for instance

“There is dust on your chairs.” “Tomorrow,” said Toad. “Your windows need scrubbing,” said Frog. “Your plants need watering.” “Tomorrow!” cried Toad. “I will do it all tomorrow!”

logging off

This day in history. 1146. Use of the crossbow on Christians was outlawed by a conference of European leaders. You see, more and more dart thingies were being aimed at the horses of the nobility, not the invulnerable armoured riders, forcing the upended magnificoes to walk to their spare horses.

Okay I looked it up. “gringo” is a bigoted slur against spicy white folks.

I knew it

Then Toad began to bang his head against the wall

Sticks

Alan

[art gallery unveiling] widely known as Gradations of Perversity, this chronological timeline, a depiction of my life in photos, remains officially untitled

Better Things Are Possible@internethippo.bsky.social · 20h ago

I don't need to know anything about any particular Republican candidate tbh. Anyone aspiring to be an officeholder in this party in the year 2026 is a villain. We're just talking about gradations of perversity

Love a direct, to the point queen. Say it plainly and leave no space for bad-faith bullshit.

Laura Chapin@laurachapin.bsky.social · 16h ago

"For the next two minutes, Cloud detailed three issues impacting women that she believes deserve more attention than Freedom: domestic violence, sexual assault and food insecurity." www.nytimes.com/athletic/754...

Bill Maher apparently made a joke about Dolly Parton’s boobs and I think the thing with that is Dolly Parton would be fine with people making jokes about her boobs which means I’m fine with people making jokes about her boobs but not him specifically

one piece of advice i can share as a parent: certain phases can be really tough, but they do pass. around 18 months my son kept demanding that i condemn hasan piker. all day and night too, i was at the end of my rope. now he’s really into fire trucks. it’s always something new

a prominent member of Film Twitter told me to "Suck his dick" just because i said that my favorite movie is the tv show Scrubs

Pre-move packing strategy: every day, load my bed down with stuff from a single room. If I want to go to sleep that night I gotta pack all the stuff. I have not slept in three days.

why does it feel like a Sunday today? i’ve got the Sunday Scaries and everything

keep messing around pal, and you might just get your cookies tracked

I'm doing laundry and it's kinda nice but I'm also very stoned.

Imagine hating me and I'm just over here bingeing Suddenly Amish

my most requested story as a toddler

Brendel@brendelbored.bsky.social · 15h ago

What was your favorite book as a kid?

Hello how are you doing i can't send you a text message can you text me so we can talk more about each other

Jar Jar Clanker. A distant relative, but related nonetheless

Comfortably Numb@numb.comfortab.ly · 14h ago

Does this mean the geese fought back, and kicked eagle's ass?