New year. Same eternal void.

I just need cheese and quiet.

eating glue until I become the horse

There are two sides to every story. Mine comes with queso and guacamole.

it’s difficult to concentrate when you’re not buried in mashed potatoes

Ok ok, 2026 is the same as the last few hundred years. We get it.

It’s rude that coffee doesn’t just brew itself and appear in front of me.

sex with me is like bowling. there’s a lot of drinking and cursing. sticking your fingers in weird holes. you have to rent shoes

donuts are just edible mood rings

more like unlimited dreadsticks

retreating to my cheese dungeon until further notice

It's like things aren't even cake anymore

two cookies, i'm feeling crazy today

the never ending empty

i’m not picky, i’ll hop into any ol’ interdimensional gateway at this point

the feminine urge to untie the green ribbon that’s keeping my head attached to my neck

I need for there to be revenge.

from somewhere deep within the fridge i hear the discordant chants of the forgotten casserole

if i got accused of being a witch i would simply kill the accusers with my witch magic

who gives a shit. enjoy yourself and eat pancakes forever

i sure love to eat, to devour even

Nobody has to be anywhere.

I sleep with my door shut cause aint no ghost in the hallway finna peak at me

this is definitely the timeline with the most pee

found my list of new year’s resolutions but all i wrote down was revenge and chimichangas

Always be true to yourself. Even if you prefer Cheeto dust over oysters.

Getting sworn in on a cheesecake factory menu to demonstrate my refusal to self edit

speed dating but for foraging mushrooms

𝔊𝔬𝔱𝔥 ℭ𝔬𝔲𝔫𝔱𝔯𝔶 𝔅𝔲𝔣𝔣𝔢𝔱@shadowham.bsky.social · 7mo ago

speed dating but for eating pierogies

[takes one sip of coffee] why is it empty?!