Why can't things be funny stupid instead of scary stupid?

True Crime Documentary: “… Once the killer’s house was finally searched, multiple dangerous items were discovered…” Me (excited & oblivious): “HEY! I have *LITERALLY* ALL those knives!” 😃 Everyone in the apartment at once: “STOP SAYING THAT!”

Try this bedroom tip that will bring you joy (sleep)

What our country is doing to kids is unconscionable.

If someone asks you “What is your sex?” In a toilet, they are the weirdo. If they ask you “What sex were you assigned at birth?” They want to know what your genitals looked like when you were a baby. I would look at anyone doing this in the same I would look at Rod Liddle talking about porn.

I bet the inventor of the microwave was like "no. Sadder."

I wish I could shazam a smell

Metal slivers turned up in Ukrop's baked spaghetti and chicken cobbler after someone actually bit into one, and the company found more in the pans supplied to them. This hit Kroger, Publix, Harris Teeter, basically everywhere across four states. Check your freezer before you reheat anything.

FDA Issues Recall For Ready-Made Meals Sold At Kroger, Publix, And More

Ukrop’s Homestyle Foods recalled these ready-made meals prepared in aluminum baking pans because metal slivers may have contaminated the food.

southernliving.com

CNN producer: El-Sayed is projected to win. Quick, get the biggest fucking loser you can find on air

You miss 100% of the sex you never get

Today might be the slowest day ever

It is 2006. I am 22. The US is mired in a costly Forever War. A predictable historic market collapse looms. I do not have health insurance. It is 2026. I am 42. The US is mired in a costly Forever War. A predictable historic market collapse looms. I do not have health insurance.

So, when they strip women’s right to vote, who will protect our kids against the laws created to have sexual contact with our children?

Ben Collins@bencollins.bsky.social · 2d ago

Good framing.

Here we have a pup enjoying the fruits of his labor after a hard day's work. 13/10 good for him

I stopped being able to stay up past 11 and being well rested makes me boring, apparently

sometimes I wonder if I’m wasting my life but then I open bsky and know that I am

Sandra's Bullock

they lowkey fell off but we should bring them back imo

Full House Fuller House Fullest House Murder House no survivors

Honestly i don’t even know why i make birdhouses #bird🪶

Damn George. How embarrassing, bruh. 😬

Southern Alabama University Police solved the murder of a professor because of a stolen Switch. You know who never snitched on their coconspirators?

We’re also funding death squads but what’s really offensive is that somewhere out there a poor person might be able to eat

USA TODAY Opinion@usatodayopinion.usatoday.com · 2d ago

Opinion: Mamdani's idea may sound appealing, but it's NYC taxpayers who will take the hit, subsidizing discounts they may never even use.

Southern Alabama University Police solved the murder of a professor because of a stolen Switch. You know who never snitched on their coconspirators?

Me: It’s sweet how my cat sits on my chest to comfort me when I’m sick in bed. Cat: I think I’ll eat the eyes first.

Willie Nelson has entered the chat 🙌🏼🤠 Say No To Data Centers!

new kat, who dis?

Timeline cleanse 🖤🧡🤍🖤 Floof!