This is the funniest possible way to frame someone winning a primary

Politico@politico.com · 13h ago

Progressives didn’t get the big election night they wanted

try telling it some knock knock jokes

Can I say something without everyone getting mad

Marisa Kabas@marisakabas.bsky.social · 5d ago

The Handbasket (2026)

You can just decide to post bad all day if you want. It's not a big deal. Nobody is looking at this website but us.

Saw a group of people absolutely lose their shit over a block and once again need to reiterate that anyone can block anyone on here for any reason except for me because I’m a sweetheart

Love seeing two dudes on a date. More dudes on dates please

The Odyssey should have had Bane in it

i was suppose to be a revolutionary anarchist but then i got fat

Hmm, no thanks!

A group of people who refuse to get help is called a family

It's always Friday somewhere

At least tomorrow is Friday

In the war on drugs, I had bone spurs.

Will that man never just fucking log off good grief

maybe you should act like your hairline and back the fuck up

In every person there are two separate but equal wolves. One who investigates crime and one who prosecutes the offenders. These are their stories.

I often find myself envying the neurotypicals. What must it be like to just smoothly interact with other people all the time I wonder

me: I'm going to build a time machine him: *eating the last donut* what you gonna use it for me: *eating the last donut* righting wrongs

You sneak into my office and see a ship in a bottle. Looking closer, you see tiny crewmembers screaming for help. I'm suddenly behind you.

Babe you've barely touched your diarrhea lettuce and salmonella eggs

Probably the best thing that can happen on a Friday when it's over 100° is for the air conditioning in your office to break

Made a very small non critical error at work that caused no issues and just had to be corrected so I'll be feeling like a piece of shit about it for the next thousand years if y'all need me

being afraid of the DSA is loser shit, sorry. “these progressive ideas are scary!” grow up.

Sick tattoo, Charlie Brown

Ways to be executed by the State in the US: - Be in a state with capital punishment - Be indicted on one of a short list of crimes - Be found guilty by a unanimous jury of your peers - Be sentenced to death by a unanimous jury of your peers - Lose multiple levels of appeals OR - Piss off a cop

I was just called a mid. Is that the little speaker between the tweeter and the woofer? Hellyeah thanks pal

I'm tired of this, grandpa

raphael: we’re kind of freaks. should we go out in public? splinter: this is new york baby, you’ll fit right in michelangelo: cowabunga splinter: you stay in the sewer

Maybe geminis wouldn't be such assholes if people would actually listen

Ever since I was a little girl I knew I wanted to provide more value for shareholders