John Carpenter’s The Alex Nevil
@thealexnevil.bsky.social
Come for the “humor”, stay because of Stockholm Syndrome. Scribbles & Bits: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:mx4w4wha2sfxrovy2aoybyod/feed/aaadjjnkylwbe Things Which Bang: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:mx4w4wha2sfxrovy2aoybyod/feed/aaacgkwnm7oua
Dog: ”Who’s a good boy?” Well let me see. You know, I don't have any idea what that means Me: It means— Dog: I know what you think it means, sonny. To me, it's just an expression, so you can decide if you’ll give me a snack. Just give me snacks and stop wasting my time Me: No more Shawshank for you
Take it from me: straight jackets are not slimming.
Your Family And Friends Are Conspiring Against You, Charlie Brown
Have you ever tried revenge smothered in gravy? I’m telling you, you will never go back serving it cold again!
Sad news for cinephiles: Tilly Norwood has been killed in a Ukrainian drone strike.
please excuse me while i slip into something a little more ‘center of an active volcano’
Got fired from PetSmart for unionizing the hamsters
Guess my days as a physics professor are behind me. Or in front of me.
Her: I don't want to alarm you... Me: *alarmed to the max*
Sorry i said one hump or two? when you tried to buy that camel hair coat
a haunted house where the ghosts make you laugh and give you positive reinforcement
People who think marriage is a deep commitment that’s hard to get out of are obviously too young to remember the Columbia Record and Tape Club.
Me at dinner on a first date: I'm not answering any more questions without a lawyer.
Me: Hey gas tank, check out the prices on this pump. Gas tank:
My cat scratched at the bathroom door so I let her in, but once she was in she seemed to forget why she’d wanted in, and I felt that.
Liam Neeson: I don’t have money, but what I do have are a very particular set of skills. Skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. I will look for you, I will find you, and I will kill you. Telemarketer: So…no on the extended warranty then?
I'll admit, ever since I saw Psycho as a kid I've felt a tiny bit nervous each time I kill someone in the shower.
To the people spreading batshit crazy conspiracy theories: Are actual current events not batshit crazy enough to please you?
“I think it might be time to cut back on the energy drinks, Elliott.”
Your honour i object to the term petty crimes, it may be petty to you [tearing up] but they mean the world to me
Based on Dog’s constant begging for food, I’m going to assume he had to be coaxed out of his momma with a charcuterie board.
I am trying not to think of your pfp / avi change as an attempt to cause me emotional distress.
Put the chairs up to vacuum, forgot, walked back in and jump scared myself thinking we had a poltergeist.
Some of you have been asking what I do for work and the truth is I teach kindergarten to high schoolers.
