WRETCHED PAUL: My perrier is too warm. You awful shit. I ask for caviar and I get roe paste from Ikea? I've been shanghaied onto barges fed me better than this rubbish. I'm going to shit on a baby POLITE, HELPFUL RINGO: No complaints about me feed. Oats is better dry I always say

lottie "The Adversary" lovely ⚧️🏴‍☠️@vaporlight.bsky.social · 4d ago

my job? Zookeeper for the remaining Beatles. Sounds great, right, but I'm on Paul and he's just the worst. The man simply needs too many pictures of range rovers to stop throwing his feces at guests. Meanwhile those smug bastards in the Ringo team keep bragging about how docile and cooperative he is

You can’t have tossed salad and scrambled eggs now of days, because of diarrhea and affordability. No wonder Kelsey Garmmar is acting like that now

Hey, that's a nice [THING YOU DO FOR PERSONAL PLEASURE], be a real shame if somebody were to [CONVINCE YOU TO MONETIZE IT, TRANSFORMING YOUR RELATIONSHIP INTO AN OBLIGATION AND ROBBING YOU OF JOY]

"one, two buckle my shoe" pilgrim-ass

Just learned that the soundtrack for Nolan’s ODYSSEY doesn’t include The Soggy Bottom Boys. Shameful.

lost my shit when he said this

Thinking of winning $672,000,000

I wish the combination wildlife smoke heat dome diarrhea parasite situation would make my personal problems feel less dire but unfortunately that's not now how it works

The Taco Bell finger pointing is a psyop to redirect attention from the real culprit, the deregulation and lack of oversight in our food supply

Raffi you’re so right

ok good to know

I Went to the Noumenal Realm and All I Got Was This Lousy Garment the Objective Reality of Which Is Inaccessible to Me

Palomar@palomar-qfwfq.bsky.social · 4w ago

I always thought there should be Kant merchandise that says, ‘What is it about the noumenal realm that you don’t understand?’

They already made an Odyssey movie and it was called O Brother Where Art Thou and it was perfect.

Me Too did not go far enough.

followed an elf into the woods behind ace hardware and he kicked the shit out of me with his stupid shoes

mcconnell returning after weeks with a gigantic BBL

All I’m saying is, while not foolproof, a good way to not elect sexual predators is to stop electing men.

more like world crap

i will not forget the men who downplayed the earlier allegations of abuse against platner and said accepting them was just the price we had to pay to gain control of the senate. i hope they feel like fucking assholes.

'nother W on the board for platner haters it seems

Never forget: when Platner’s Nazi tattoo surfaced, Democrats had time to rally behind another progressive in Maine. Instead, they doubled down on a candidate with a trail of red flags. Now they’re dealing with a sexual assault allegation. 1/2

Whenever I see Ariana grandpa (not fixing this autocorrect) now all I can think of is her SpongeBob boyfriend

Fucking. Lin-Manuel Miranda is on my ceiling. I’m swatting him with a broom but he won’t go out the window. No idea how long he’s been in here, I’ve been working, open the door, creator and star of Hamilton on my ceiling. Animal Control says I have to get shots because he could carry diseases. Great

eating a hot dog, leftistly

Great moments in U.S. History.

celebrating the good parts of america today. if you don’t think there are any good parts, just look to all the stuff the fascists are desperate to stifle

This was slapped on a bus station and I’ve been laughing at it all morning

look no matter how hard you try you need to accept that some people just aren’t going to like you. YOU need to accept that. when people don’t like me it’s because they’re suffering from some kind of terrible personality disease