lisabug
@lisabug.bsky.social
Welcome to LisaWorld San Francisco 🌉 Pun 👸🏽 🐈⬛ 🐈 Mom Pisces ♓ 🌎Orbit: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:sh3x2xhofujvvkdpg2udbmf4/feed/aaakvlozerilu 🐈Beliefs: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:sh3x2xhofujvvkdpg2udbmf4/feed/aaaekyll5zymq
surprise video calls from the boss should be illegal
need to get back in shape, haven’t been called “sport” since i was a kid
“Merry Christmas, Sexy!” said the unknown number, a little after midnight.
another year without getting my dream present: a trap door for solicitors
Me: [gets a hippopotamus for Christmas] My cat (staring at his litter box): wtaf
The average person eats 25 marshmallows in their sleep per hour
stefan@stefanthinks.bsky.social · 9mo agothe average person eats 8 southwestern egg rolls in their sleep per day
The average person eats 50 secrets in their sleep per minute
Catastrophic meowtzidown (trouble/tribble)@ufomitzidino.bsky.social · 9mo agoThe average person eats 25 marshmallows in their sleep per hour
sorry for the foul language. im a parent so saying "what the fuck" is really just second nature at this point
Seems like low-hanging fruit that there isn’t a candle company called “John Wick.”
bad news. it’s actually pretty nice having clothes put away instead of in a pile
Someone shrieked an office chair was killing them. There wasn’t even a sign of a struggle when I peeked over my cubicle.
I can’t believe that in this day and age, people are still wearing fir.
Therapist: I think we’re having a break-through. Kool-Aid Man: Oh yeah
As soon as the tide comes back in it's over for you beaches.
Happy “Unsubscribe” to Black Friday deal emails, to all who celebrate!
my cat does not take my threats to sit on her very seriously
You can use your thanksgiving leftovers as pizza toppings and literally no one can stop you
carving turkeys is really difficult when they wriggle so much
Put “spree” after “killing” and the whole thing suddenly sounds so breezy and upbeat.