Very true. OK then, here's one I came up with in my earliest days on Twitter. - I was holding auditions today for my production of Oedipus Rex. My girlfriend came along and tried out for the part of his mother. - Jocasta? - No, she was rubbish.
Tim Hardy
@timbobaggins.bsky.social
Perpetually exhausted, dad, husband, tech. Doesn't write as much as he should. (he/him)
Happy 60th Anniversary to Star Trek! Live long and prosper! 🖖🏻
Yeah, his name is Slimo Deathadder, but he's sound. If you would like to see today's sketch again in widescreeeen (2.39:1, the funniest aspect ratio of all) then you can do just that on YouTube: www.youtube.com/watch?v=LBkL...
The King's Adviser is Actually a Nice Guy
YouTube video by Alasdair Beckett-King
youtube.com
Alasdair Beckett-King@misterabk.bsky.social · yesterdayThe king's adviser is actually a nice guy:
I have legitimate concerns about organised mobs in black clothing and balaclavas thinking they are above the law. Can someone please address this? #LegitimateConcerns
Apparently we've got a very rare and expensive cask of amontillado in our collection, whatever that is. We're going to try find it and will report back.
This is just to say... I have stolen the work that you spent years creating and which you were probably hoping would pay your bills But online sharing doesn't count It's actually a compliment So fuck you BTW, I'm a fan
When you post screenshots of HP, even to take the piss, it is a jolt to trans people who then, likely, have to spend time trying to work out the context & if that's a safe account to follow. The images of it are *everywhere*. Ads are relentless, placement in other programmes. Give us a break, huh?
Music FACT: Pop star Beyoncé is the eldest of music legend Lionel Richie's 3 daughters. Her younger sisters are Betwicé & Bethreetimesaladeé.
One of life’s small pleasures is to wash out a Marmite jar ready for recycling and then holding it up to the light and turning it slowly, marvelling at its gorgeous hue and wishing that all glass was that colour e.g. supermarket windows
Speaking as a German British person looking at the news: what the heck are we doing and can we not
How about ‘but what are they protesting? The idea that the RNLI should not rescue people in trouble in the sea is abhorrent and inhuman and we should be utterly repelled by it.’
Peter Walker@peterwalker99.bsky.social · yesterdayEmma Reynolds on Sky with a fairly robust response to the new far right agitation in Portsmouth overnight, and the events in Dover: "As a politician, I absolutely support the right to peaceful protest, but this has crossed the line. This is thuggish and intimidating behaviour."
On this day 7th Sept 1838 Grace Darling and her father rescued sailors from from the shipwrecked Forfarshire Artist: John Berry
I don't know if it's just that this UK government missed the context of growing up in Ireland in the 90s, but they should probably be aware that gangs of lads in balaclavas don't have the best intentions for the public.
Previous RTs: it is the mark of the absolute tosser, who understands *nothing* about coastal communities, or the sea, to go up against the RNLI. The RNLI is an exemplar of what a volunteer organisation should be, rooted in their communities and displaying proper commitment.
The RNLI have some of the best people in Britain volunteering for them. They put their lives on the line when they are called on and they will rescue anyone who needs them. Because every life matters, and offering help is the right thing to do. You can donate here: rnli.org
RNLI - Royal National Lifeboat Institution - Saving Lives at Sea
The RNLI is the charity that saves lives at sea. We do this through lifeboat search and rescue, lifeguards, water safety education and international interventions.
rnli.org
Another master came to see the swordmaster. "Let me watch you teach." He watched a lesson, then asked: "Where do they get their swords?" "Some have their own, others borrow a school sword, like this." "This is an exceptional sword!" "If you have a bad sword, you learn to fight it, not use it."
My wife, a prodigious sleep-talker, failed to disclose her affliction when we started dating, which led to the fright of my life the night she sat bolt upright in bed and in a low flat monotone loudly declared that “THIRTEEN BABIES REMAIN UNFATHERED.”
The cats graciously put on a magic show for us last night. I figured out how they did most of the tricks, but I didn’t say anything, because that would have been rude.
Farage honking "BORING! BORING! BORING!" while a woman who verbally disagreed with him from a crowd gets beaten up by his supporters is quite a look for Britain's hottest new party.
My first cartoon for adults for a while, on the Dover business
Today’s Italy update: we went in a church and there was a big inflatable bug
I always think about how my grandmother learned how to put text on her pictures and somehow would create the sort of shit you'd see on an indie horror poster or a niche album drop & you can't fake the pure elegance of someone who has no idea what they are doing bsky.app/profile/most...
Bree (half of Kit Rocha)@mostlybree.kitrocha.com · 2y agoIn my ongoing quest to save my favorite moments from twitter, I am sharing one of my favorite viral tweets: the time my grandmother was trying to explain to me that something was in her garden eating her tomatoes but accidentally created a god-tier meme
i get a flat fee for pressing clothes, and that's how iron a living
